We booked a hotel, planned a spa day, and began fantasizing about our child free weekend filled with shopping, eating without sharing, and sleep.
Sweet Lord the sleep.
Halfway to our destination a serious stomach cramp reaching from the depths of hell and stabbed my pilot in her guts!! I feared our trip might be cancelled due to a case of IBS.
My Beav knows pain! She’s given birth without drugs!
She muscled on until we could get her to a Coffee Time.
Once we arrived at the hotel I heard angels sing. They were welcoming me into their heavenly gates. Begging me to steal white linen from their closets.
This hotel meant business! Shinny floors, huge lights, a lounge, a concierge… my self confidence went from a yoga pant wearing 6 to a “watch out I’m pretending I’m rich all weekend bitches!!!“ 10.
We opened the door to our room…
They thought we were lesbians.
Ahh well, we were holding hands and whispering when we arrived, here’s to adventure!
HAHAHA, just kidding. (maybe…there was available porn)
You’re waiting for a picture aren’t you…
After a quick re-fresh it was onto shopping! The Eaton Centre had it all.. and we wanted it all…
All around Class.
I may have broken some legs.
I said MAY HAVE
Until we realized they were stealthy bitches and trying to steal our shoes!
So we took their hair and ran!
This would be WAY more exciting if I wasn’t a lush and can only drink one.
AND if the one I did have didn’t give me an ice cream headache every time I took a sip.
AND if I didn’t pinch the bridge of my nose while still trying to look “cool” and “sexy” and “awesome” and “with it’ but all the while saying, “OMG, this is sooooo cold!! OMG, everytime!”
FROM EATING TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE YOU PERVS!
It was time to pack up.
Time to say goodbye to our hotel, our friends, our Mob.
But we’ll always have each other…
And this sweet ass ode to the trip!
Love ya Beav!