The Cycle of Abuse

I used to work closely with children in care.

By closely I mean they used to live with me.

In a Crisis Home I ran.

This job was very important to me.

These children became my passion, this job was a joy.

My job was to stabilize the behaviour of the youth in crisis coming to me. To decrease aggression, to effectively counsel, to use charts and tables, to stabilize the environment.

For children.

I had a different approach.

Weekly I would meet these children, all who had lost hope, trust, and love for the people they were promised would take care of them. I would begin the process of wrapping them in my hope, my trust, my love and attempt to prove to them that someone will take care of them. That someone will listen.

They would test me.

Not believing that they were lovable. Pushing me away because if they’re own parents didn’t love them why would a stranger?

I would hold tighter. Asking them to believe, to be still and allow themselves to embrace feeling safe. Many times their wounds were too deep. The darkness would creep back into their eyes and cover their faces in a cloud of sadness.

Hearing their parents’ ugly words play back in their heads.

The cycle of abuse continuing.


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25 Responses to The Cycle of Abuse
  1. Miranda
    April 8, 2011 | 6:11 pm

    My heart breaks into a million pieces for these children. Thank you for your work and your words.

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 9:03 pm

      Thank you for your link up.
      Thank you for creating awareness.
      Thank you for being the awesome you that you are!

  2. Carina
    April 8, 2011 | 7:58 pm

    After reading your blog for not quite a month now, I have come to many conclusions about the type of woman and mother you are.

    I thank God there are people like you doing the work you do. What you express and the actions behind that expression move me.

    Thank you.

  3. MamaRobinJ
    April 8, 2011 | 11:55 pm

    You have so much love in you and this matters so much. Good for you.

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 9:02 pm

      Oh.. my friend.
      YOU..YOU have much love in YOU.
      Thanks for reading.

  4. Andrea
    April 9, 2011 | 12:04 am

    You are amazing. I hope that someday I get to meet you in real life, as I have already bonded with you in this short time I know you, and I hope that doesn’t sound stalker-ish at all. Great post. Beautiful words. Beautiful feeling. Sigh. I wish we could save each and every one of those children.

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 9:02 pm

      Thank you Andrea.
      No, you don’t sound Stalker-ish.
      Although, I wouldn’t mind a stalker… lol JK

  5. Kelley
    April 9, 2011 | 1:03 am

    Oh, that really breaks my heart that they didn’t believe you cared. What a sad situation & how awesome of you to have helped with it.

  6. Jessica
    April 9, 2011 | 3:05 am

    What a difficult job but it’s people like you that make the difference to these kids.

  7. Jack
    April 9, 2011 | 3:46 am

    There is no more important work than helping children.

  8. Mom Photographer
    April 9, 2011 | 12:53 pm

    very touching post. I admire people like you!

  9. Melanie
    April 9, 2011 | 2:46 pm

    The heart you have for these children is so admirable. It breaks my heart to know how many kids out there are wounded so early in life, especially when it’s there own family doing it to them. It just makes me want to hold my children even tighter.

    Beautiful post.

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 8:53 pm

      It makes me hold mine a little tighter too and appreciate what I have.

  10. MamaTrack
    April 9, 2011 | 2:58 pm

    This is beautiful. My heart breaks for those kids. And I admire your strength and love in working with them.

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 8:53 pm

      Thank you so much.
      Glad you came by… I like it when you do

  11. Jenn
    April 9, 2011 | 8:11 pm

    Visiting through TMP Saturday blog hop and wow. Powerful words, powerful post.

  12. Elizabeth Flora Ross
    April 9, 2011 | 8:19 pm

    I admire you so much! What difficult work that must have been.

    I had a coworker a few years ago who adopted her cousins, who had been neglected and finally abandoned by their mother. I remember her struggles to gain their trust, and the hours of therapy she took them to so they could understand they were worthy of being loved. Heartbreaking!

    Stopping by from TMP blog hop!

    • multitaskingmumma
      April 9, 2011 | 8:49 pm

      It really is heartbreaking but when you get through to one child its worth it.
      Unfortunately many children don’t want another adults help, they want their parents.

  13. Pamela D Hart
    April 10, 2011 | 11:04 am

    Visiting via TRDC.

    You are a heroine in my eyes!

    **sigh* I wish people had to get licenses to have children.

    Currently I’m looking into becoming a “big sister” for our local girls/boy club. There are SO many children who need love and guidance. And now that my boys are 18 & 13, I have a little free time, so I would like to help other children. Maybe I can help because I know what they’re going through.

    Bless you, though, for your heart-felt efforts. (( )) BIG hugs to YOU!

  14. Frelle
    April 11, 2011 | 11:36 am

    thank you for speaking these things, and for loving them. we share a common compassion for them and for the adults they become.

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