First Day Jitters

The morning commute was always something I looked forward to. I enjoy a long drive when the sun is rising, its light streaming through my windshield reminding me that it’s a new day.

Last Tuesday I wasn’t looking forward to my commute.

I went back to work after one whole year off with my baby, a hard but wonderful year, where everyday I spent time with my child, watched her develop, grow, and explore.

I knew that I would be returning and had attempted to mentally prepare myself. I love my job but I love my daughter more.

So, as expected the day arrived.  I waved goodbye to her as she got into her daddy’s car, dressed up pretty for day care, and started my 40 minute drive.

The sun glistened through my window warming up the car just as I remembered. My coffee tasted perfect, the radio was loud, and the traffic flowed nicely.

Not bad.

I began to enjoy the drive, relax a little, even sang to a few songs but work was in sight and the reminder of where I was going came flooding back, covering me in anxiety.

What if they didn’t want me to come back? What if the girl who replaced me was better at my job?

I reluctantly parked and sat for a few minutes.

I was confident my daughter was being well taken care of, now I had to take care of me.

Sliding out of the car I straightened my black pants and purple dress shirt purchased just for the day, the fabric smoothing softly under my nervous fingers.  My purse felt light on my shoulder compared to the diaper bag and I double checked to ensure I had the right bag. One final glace back at the car and I stepped onto the walkway, ready to look the day straight in the face.

And was greeted with open arms.


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12 Responses to First Day Jitters
  1. Amy
    April 18, 2011 | 10:40 am

    I’m so glad it went well! I am probably going back to work in september and really dreading it. This gives me some hope that it will go better than I think 🙂

  2. Lady Estrogen
    April 18, 2011 | 12:11 pm

    It was a strange feeling, for sure 🙂
    Luckily for me, they fired the guy who was ‘trying’ to do my job – haha.. suckaz! (My delusions of self-importance)

  3. steph_yoga
    April 18, 2011 | 12:21 pm

    sounds like you are doing great. Good job multi-tasking mom! I cried the whole way when I left for a meeting so you are doing much better than me

  4. CJ
    April 18, 2011 | 3:58 pm

    Way to go, Mama! I can’t imagine how hard it’s been going back, and how SCARY that first moment must’ve been! Hugs to you.

  5. Leigh Ann
    April 18, 2011 | 7:06 pm

    You rocked it, I know you did. They could never replace you. I don’t even know who “they” are. I’m sure it was hard, and I’m glad you made it through the week!

  6. Jessica Anne
    April 18, 2011 | 7:12 pm

    Yay! It’s so hard going back. It took me a while after my first to feel comfortable again at work. Glad it went well for you.

  7. MamaRobinJ
    April 19, 2011 | 1:40 am

    Of course they did. Because you are wonderful. And I’m glad it was good, even if it was hard.

  8. Elena
    April 19, 2011 | 11:12 pm

    I’m so glad, although not surprised. 😉

  9. Kristy
    April 23, 2011 | 3:32 pm

    Sometimes it is nice to have your own thing. Hope it’s still going well!

  10. jane@flightplatformliving
    April 23, 2011 | 5:32 pm

    sounds like you did just great. xx a hard day though for many reasons. stopping by from trdc linkup xx

  11. Galit Breen
    April 24, 2011 | 2:32 pm

    Thank goodness for open arms!

    That first day back can be so hard- I;m so glad that yours went well!

    Loved the image of you singing in the car- so free, so fun!

  12. Ilana
    April 25, 2011 | 11:29 pm

    So glad the day went well! And congrats on going back to work. I’ve been working mainly from home and I have to say, I miss going to an office every day. At the very least, you have a reason to dress a little nicer!

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