On May 2nd Canadians rush to the polls to vote in our Federal Election.
The coverage of this election has been exhausting but necessary and the candidates have sunk to their usual lows in order to gain majority.
Because I’m obviously a dedicated member of my community and because I take an interest in my country’s future I’ve decided that I should run for parliament.
Or be the next Prime Minister.
But Leighann…. You know nothing about politics!
Don’t be a negative Nancy!
Neither do the politicians!
Here’s the super exciting changes I’m working on:
1. Ensure every staff member at Tim Horton’s understands the importance of A. making a cup of coffee the way it was ordered and B. putting napkins in the bag.
2. Increase policing on our major highway, the 401, for the specific purpose of guaranteeing slow drivers KEEP RIGHT. (if you have trouble understanding this it’s because you’re a slow driver and you need to keep right).
3. Allow Canadians to double up on coupons! Have you seen that show Extreme Couponing? We can’t do that here.. annoying!
4. No more Taylor Swift songs played in Canada.
5. Fine Walmart $50,000 every time they are out of a product shown in their flyer. $100,000 if it is diapers.
6. Make it illegal to A. scream into your cell phone while you are standing RIGHT beside me.. Seriously! What are you doing? Why are you yelling? Have you ever owned a cell phone? Is this the first time you’ve ever used it..right now? Inside my eardrum?
B. use a cell phone while talking to me in person. I can use one while talking to you though. I know… so rude.
7. Lower gas prices to 4 cents/L and make it all full serve.
8. Oh and I’d just get rid of the deficit, funding problems, and tax issues by PRINTING MORE MONEY!! Helloooo… cause I’d be the boss.
I’ll begin getting my campaign team ready for the next election.
All of these issues are sure to be around still.