Her legs hold tight around the woman’s small waist and she looks up at her with adoration. Her chicklet smile bursting hearts as she fills her chubby hands with fistfuls of hair.

The woman wraps her hand around the girls small fingers, playfully telling her no and tickling her dangling toes. They giggle together, whisper secrets, and are lost in a secret world.

Jealousy overwhelms me. I can taste its bitter bubbles on the back of my tongue as it boils in my throat.

Those giggles should be mine.

Those secrets should be whispered to me.

I should be apart of the secret world.

That is my daughter.

Each morning she happily goes to her daycare teacher with outstretched arms and a wide grin, waving goodbye for the day.

Learning her ABC’s, peek-a-boo, patty cake.

Things I should be teaching her.

I hate that she loves her daycare.

I love that she loves her daycare.

And as much as she adores her teacher she doesn’t hesitate to push her aside each evening when she sees me arrive at the entrance to pick her up.

Arms reaching, squeals of joy echoing across the playground, and recently the sound of “mom, mom, mom” swelling my heart.


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28 Responses to Mine.
  1. Frelle
    May 6, 2011 | 9:58 am

    i hear the ache in your voice, and I’m sure you fight jealousy often. She is yours, and I am glad you are secure in her daycare situation as well as secure in your importance to her!

  2. Amy
    May 6, 2011 | 10:07 am

    This is one of the hardest things to do. Its a struggle! Its a good thing though.

    Great post!

  3. Theresa
    May 6, 2011 | 10:30 am

    Wow, I can relate to this. Well done.

  4. Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 6, 2011 | 11:04 am

    I can feel your conflict through your words.

    Great take on the prompt. Well done!

  5. JDB
    May 6, 2011 | 11:09 am

    I love your writing Leighann:)
    It makes my day.
    I’m so not looking forward to day care:(
    I will call u for tips

  6. Jennifer Dillon
    May 6, 2011 | 11:11 am

    This was so well done! Everything from the title to the ‘mom, mom, mom’s!” This piece was so clear and so painfully honest, it could not have been easy to write.

    “Jealousy overwhelms me. I can taste its bitter bubbles on the back of my tongue as it boils in my throat.” Two really great lines.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:27 pm

      Thank you!
      I wasn’t easy to write because I don’t want to admit I’m jealous of the teacher or the daycare but it’s how I’m feeling. I hate that she loves it there so much but I love that she loves it there.

  7. Bluebird
    May 6, 2011 | 11:45 am

    I’m not looking forward to when my 4 month old heads off to daycare. Great post!

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:26 pm

      Its not easy, I’m not going to lie to you but it gets better.
      Its easier if you love the daycare and they love what they do.
      I researched where I was sending her and I went for visits there before I went back to work.
      She loves it so much.

  8. Sara
    May 6, 2011 | 12:17 pm

    This one is a heart-tugger. You did a great job of writing about what so many moms and dads deal with every work day.

    The ending made tears come to my eyes. Well done and good take on this prompt.

    I love your picture, BTW. It makes me smile:~)

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:25 pm

      Thank you so much for loving my picture!
      It is a bit of a heart breaker.
      I’m really flattered that you enjoyed it.

  9. Jack
    May 6, 2011 | 1:12 pm

    I can appreciate this. When my children were very young it was hard for me to hear about what they did. I wanted to see and experience it- not hear about it.

    You told this story very well.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:23 pm

      I’m so afraid she’s going to walk for the first time there.
      And I’ll miss it.
      And they won’t appreciate it as much as I will.
      Or would have.

  10. Mrs. Jen B
    May 6, 2011 | 1:13 pm

    Awwww. I really felt this right along with you. You did a really terrific job with this, I’m sure there are sooooo many others who have felt this way.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:23 pm

      Thank you Jen!
      I know its hard on everyone to go back to work and I really do love my job but I love her much much more!

  11. Cheryl @ Mommypants
    May 6, 2011 | 6:10 pm

    That must be so, so tough!

    When I worked, my mother-in-law watched my son and when I came home, he’d cry and cling to her and not want to come to me at all. The worst part was when he called her “mama” and she didn’t correct him.

    That was over six years ago and it still upsets me!

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:22 pm

      Oh that must have been so so hard!
      My MIL has difficulty because my daughter won’t say Nannie.
      It breaks her heart.

      But if she called her mumma she would certainly correct her.
      I think it would upset me too, even if it was a daycare teacher doing it.

  12. MamaTrack
    May 6, 2011 | 7:54 pm

    I know how hard this is. And I’m happy for you that she has a wonderful childcare situation. But I also emphathize.

    Hang in there, Mumma.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:20 pm

      I think of my mom.
      I’m putting on a front to be strong for my daughter, so all those years where I thought my mom was being mean and leaving me I wonder how many times she cried on her way to work?

  13. kir
    May 6, 2011 | 8:13 pm

    Yes, yes, yes every working mom feels this pull…wanting to be there and at work. I am so happy that the boys love their teachers at our daycare/school but I also look forward to their faces lighting in recognition when we walk in to pick them up..that is my happy place every single day.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:19 pm

      Sometimes the hubs and I fight over who gets to pick her up because of the way her face lights up!

  14. Carina
    May 7, 2011 | 10:49 am

    “Her chicklet smile bursting hearts…”

    So concisely descriptive and heartbreakingly familiar. Your diction always seems on point.

    Well done.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 7, 2011 | 3:19 pm

      Thank you Carina.
      She just got two new top teeth and she looks hilarious!

  15. Andrea
    May 7, 2011 | 3:18 pm

    So beautifully written, as always, mama. How touching and powerful and how difficult it must be for you. {Hugs} I am sure you are torn but you worded it so well. Thank you for sharing it w/us.

  16. MamaRobinJ
    May 8, 2011 | 1:00 am

    So hard and so wonderful at the same time. I’m glad she’s with someone you’re happy with, so take the time to have those cuddles and giggles as much as you can at home.

  17. Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)
    May 8, 2011 | 1:30 am

    I can feel the intense tug on your heart with this one. It’s wonderful that she loves her daycare but still so painful for you to say good-bye.

    Those last moments of your day, when you both see each other and get to spend those precious hours together…no doubt are treasured by you both.

    Happy Mother’s Day.

  18. lindsay @ c3images
    May 8, 2011 | 6:22 pm

    another bittersweet moment in life. I have to say, I was actually happy when the babysitter called me and said “you’ll have to come and get him because he won’t stop crying”. 🙂 But at the same time you want them to enjoy themselves while they’re there…. Great post Leighann…

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

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