Protect Me

Home.

The destination I aim for everyday after work.

My family inside awaiting my arrival, planning dinner, their voices echoing off of the kitchen walls, and baby squeals travelling to meet me at the door.

A sweet welcome.

Until I see the mark.

The dental records from another chid left in my baby’s arm.

I hear Brian ask me to be calm so he can relay the information.

The world turns from shades of red to black, I picture myself growing claws out of my finger tips and sharp fang like teeth capable of ripping into any opponent.

A low growl is forming in my throat and threatening to escape as my body fights the urge to crouch into a pouncing position.

“Who.Did.This?”

Is all I can mutter. The room is dark, a spotlight shines on the red teeth marks that appear to be pulsing on my daughters arm.

“They don’t know, she didn’t cry or make a fuss, they noticed it late in the day.”

I feel a sharp pain in my gut, someone is stabbing me, but when I look down there is no blood. My head is pounding.

I pace back and forth like a caged animal attempting to keep my composure but the red marks scream at me.

You weren’t there to protect me!

Rushing to my daughter I ask her what happened, who hurt her?

She touches my face.

My growl turns into tears.

She smiles at me and reaches for my hair.

My sharp teeth meant to cut into my prey retract.

She laughs and says “mama?”

My claws fall away and I touch her angry marks

I wasn’t there to protect her.

But she was ok.

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21 Responses to Protect Me
  1. Ascentive
    May 27, 2011 | 1:50 pm

    I know this feeling all too well! I’m a full time working mom to an 18 month old boy. When I come home and see bumps, bruises, teeth marks…anything I feel as though I have let him down. He always seems to be ok though

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 27, 2011 | 9:21 pm

      Mom guilt is a killer feeling
      No matter what you do as a mom you always have it.
      Always.

  2. Krista
    May 27, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    Oh. God. I cannot imagine that feeling.

    But know that you didn’t let her down. She’s Ok. She’s loved. She’s happy. That’s all that matters.

  3. lindsay @ you are here
    May 27, 2011 | 1:57 pm

    I’ve had this happen. The Momma Bear reflex is so strong that you want to go bite the little bugger that would EVER bite your precious baby. Then go bite the parents of said bugger just for good measure.
    I’m so sorry that your peanut got hurt.
    Hugs for her xx (and you)

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 27, 2011 | 9:17 pm

      i so wanted to bite the parents!
      I pictured them giggling when their child bit, laughing at its cuteness.
      And so because the kid thinks it’s cute he bites my child.
      haha.
      funny little kid.
      biting recklessly.

  4. Amy
    May 27, 2011 | 2:20 pm

    I would do the same thing! Its a hard thing to deal with. Shes ok and now they will be looking for the biter at daycare. You did good (by not going back to daycare and killing everyone…..)

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 27, 2011 | 9:14 pm

      That was the hard part.
      The not going back and hurting the staff.
      Had to be rational.
      in a moment like that I had to go really deep inside.

  5. Runnermom-jen
    May 27, 2011 | 2:49 pm

    Oh, you are such a great writer!! I loved this post.

  6. PoM
    May 27, 2011 | 3:18 pm

    That kind of thing is so hard to handle. Don’t be hard on yourself tho.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 27, 2011 | 9:12 pm

      I just feel like I should have been there.
      But because I work i wasn’t.
      Mom guilt sucks

  7. Leigh Ann
    May 27, 2011 | 4:37 pm

    Poor S! I can’t imagine how that must feel. Well I can imagine how the biting must fee because one of mine was a biter. Just remember that at their age it’s just an age appropriate thing to do, not maliciously directed at S (not that the daycare people should let it slide, but still). The hard parts came when we were dealing with it as an act of aggression. Hugs to you Mama Bear.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 27, 2011 | 9:09 pm

      That’s a good reminder
      I tend to forget that’s its an age appropriate behaviour
      Especially when my childs arm is being ripped off.
      I need these reminders often

  8. Nic
    May 27, 2011 | 8:01 pm

    Breaks my heart!

  9. Galit Breen
    May 27, 2011 | 9:34 pm

    Oh that feeling- anger, sadness, guilt.

    You? Are such an amazing mama.

    And you know what else? That little girl so knows it.

    So sorry this happened!

    XO

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 28, 2011 | 2:15 pm

      Thank you Galit.
      I wasn’t prepared for all of those emotions all at once!

  10. Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 28, 2011 | 11:49 am

    Oh poor baby! And you mumma bear. *hugs*

    I don’t know what I’d have done. Am glad you got some perspective on it before you bit someone’s head off :)

  11. Kimberly
    May 29, 2011 | 12:39 am

    Kids are funny when they’re all in a room together. They still don’t know boundaries. I know that you wanted to be there but I’m sure that the staff took care of it. I know, it’s not the same.
    Xoxo

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