Throat Punch Thursday

It’s Thursday people and that can only mean one thing! Ok, yes, two things. We’re closer to Friday AND I’ve got a serious Throat Punch to dole out.

This one?

It’s also coupled with a round house, triple sow cow, double axel face jab.

No, I’m not kidding.

Some people have no social skills, this is why I rarely engage in small talk, it saves me from the uncomfortable lags in conversation, the inappropriate questions or comments, and the lack of intelligence that 80% of the population seem to have.

But, occasionally, if forced by my job, or because someone’s conversations skills mesh well with mine, I throw my rules to the wind and chat away. When it’s with my job I remain reserved and keep emotion out of it, however, when I think I may have found a new friend (sigh) I use my judgement and bring out the funny according to their humour scale. I let them into my circle of hilarity.

And then sometimes my judgement fails. Sometimes there are wolves in sheep’s clothing that are pretending to be entertaining but are actually socially inept, unintelligent imposters who snuck in to the hilarity circle!

I’m ashamed to say I recently let my guard down and a wolf got in.

To the wolf, you are stealthy; however, you are also strange and awkward. When I told you I loved you because it was closer to 4:00pm than I realized I didn’t really mean I loved you, it’s a figure of speech. You were wearing the watch, I loved that you told me this wonderful news. I find it odd that you took me literally and then explained to me that I shouldn’t love you. You are weird and this is part of what began to give you away.

Next time someone attempts to read the jacket of the novel you are reading, a common interest among humans, you should not grab the book and tell them it is your personal property and that they should ask before touching it. This is strange behaviour and no way to make friends.

When someone compliments you on the shirt you are wearing and asks you where you bought it, normal people are appreciative. The wrong answer is to tell them to respect your personal space. This will keep people from coming anywhere near you. Kind of like how I’m never going to come near you again.

For your behaviour, awkward responses, and sneaky wolf moves I am giving you a massive Throat Punch.

This may not do anything, you will probably continue your strange interactions and learn nothing, but it sure made me feel better.

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24 Responses to Throat Punch Thursday
  1. lindsay @ you are here
    June 23, 2011 | 9:29 am

    OMG tell me you’re kidding here…. I have a serious lack of patience when it comes to people like this and you gave them 3 or 4 more opportunities to redeem themselves than I would have LOL

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 23, 2011 | 11:11 am

      Due to the situation I was in I was trapped. Believe me I would have normally walked away.

  2. Alison@Mama Wants This
    June 23, 2011 | 10:33 am

    Oh my gosh, this person sounds really weird! Totally lacking in social skills. And totally deserving a throat punch.

  3. Jessica
    June 23, 2011 | 11:05 am

    You asked where the shirt came from and they told you to respect their privacy? Yeah, that’s strange. Throat punch for sure.

  4. Lady Estrogen
    June 23, 2011 | 11:43 am

    Hahahaha – like how I say I Looooove Pie? I’m not gonna f*uck it, yo!
    Freckin’ weirdos!! You should get the diagram from @spud_slinger’s site about personal space! He’s dealing with bad breathed spitters. LMAO

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 23, 2011 | 7:19 pm

      I dont understand any of what you just said but I dig it. Because it’s you. And I’m checking out this person.

  5. Amy
    June 23, 2011 | 2:37 pm

    Well she sounds a bit odd. Her loss!!!!

  6. Carina
    June 23, 2011 | 4:09 pm

    Wow. And I thought I regularly interacted with socially inept people. This round goes to you, Leigh Ann.

  7. kristen
    June 23, 2011 | 5:28 pm

    I am actually laughing out loud right now cause I know how hard it was for you to not ACTUALLY throat punch this person!!! Way to hold back!!! I totally feel the same way about small talk…I HATE IT!!
    This was PAINFULLY awkward to read!! The “I love you” thing should have really tipped you off though!!! 🙂

  8. Leigh Ann
    June 23, 2011 | 5:57 pm

    Triple sow cow! I love the line, “You are weird and this is part of what began to give you away.” Can you imagine just telling someone “You are weird.”

    Seriously, this lady is a freak.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 23, 2011 | 6:12 pm

      This is the very woman I refused to be friends with and said so! “we will never be friends!”

      It didn’t faze her. I think she hears it a lot.

  9. rubyspikes
    June 26, 2011 | 6:13 pm

    Well, at least they make for a wonderful world of blogging hilarity. Really, though. I love you.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 26, 2011 | 10:41 pm

      Thank you. And you’re right, the weirder the better for bloggers.

  10. mamamash
    June 26, 2011 | 10:10 pm

    Was this person’s name Sheldon Cooper?

  11. KindredAdventures
    June 27, 2011 | 7:35 pm

    I am going to admit that I have on more then one occasion told someone I loved them out of context. Once it was at the end of a conversation (I say it to my family all the time) and it just slipped. Another time it was when a friend said something sweet and I said it implying I was truly thankful for her kindness. Both got giggles and embarrassment on my part but not unrepairable, they were kind to me, thought I was a stitch and I’m still friends with them. As for that whole shirt thing. That is just weird. I don’t care how you think your social skills are theirs are just somewhere else! So happy I visited! -Laverne from visiting (late) from Sunday Funday

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 27, 2011 | 10:07 pm

      Thank you!!

      This girl was so weird.

      So very very weird!

      I think it’s hilarious that you snuck in an I love you at the end of a conversation. So funny!!

  12. Anastasia
    June 30, 2011 | 2:21 pm

    I have a co-worker that has no social skills and is an idiot. And she’s the only other person on my shift. Ugh.

  13. Paulette
    August 4, 2011 | 9:52 pm

    Some people never really do get out of that awkward phase. Such a shame.

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