It’s Thursday people and that can only mean one thing! Ok, yes, two things. We’re closer to Friday AND I’ve got a serious Throat Punch to dole out.
It’s also coupled with a round house, triple sow cow, double axel face jab.
No, I’m not kidding.
Some people have no social skills, this is why I rarely engage in small talk, it saves me from the uncomfortable lags in conversation, the inappropriate questions or comments, and the lack of intelligence that 80% of the population seem to have.
But, occasionally, if forced by my job, or because someone’s conversations skills mesh well with mine, I throw my rules to the wind and chat away. When it’s with my job I remain reserved and keep emotion out of it, however, when I think I may have found a new friend (sigh) I use my judgement and bring out the funny according to their humour scale. I let them into my circle of hilarity.
And then sometimes my judgement fails. Sometimes there are wolves in sheep’s clothing that are pretending to be entertaining but are actually socially inept, unintelligent imposters who snuck in to the hilarity circle!
I’m ashamed to say I recently let my guard down and a wolf got in.
To the wolf, you are stealthy; however, you are also strange and awkward. When I told you I loved you because it was closer to 4:00pm than I realized I didn’t really mean I loved you, it’s a figure of speech. You were wearing the watch, I loved that you told me this wonderful news. I find it odd that you took me literally and then explained to me that I shouldn’t love you. You are weird and this is part of what began to give you away.
Next time someone attempts to read the jacket of the novel you are reading, a common interest among humans, you should not grab the book and tell them it is your personal property and that they should ask before touching it. This is strange behaviour and no way to make friends.
When someone compliments you on the shirt you are wearing and asks you where you bought it, normal people are appreciative. The wrong answer is to tell them to respect your personal space. This will keep people from coming anywhere near you. Kind of like how I’m never going to come near you again.
For your behaviour, awkward responses, and sneaky wolf moves I am giving you a massive Throat Punch.
This may not do anything, you will probably continue your strange interactions and learn nothing, but it sure made me feel better.