We’ve arrived at the final guest post of the week.
And who better to cap off a fantastic week of visitors than my Bloggy BFF Leigh Ann from Genie in a Blog?!!
She’s my sister from another mister, my sisterwife in Texas, and one day I hope to meet her and her gorgeous family.
But not in the summer, I can’t handle that kinda heat yo!
I received an email the other day from Baby Center that started out: “It’s summer! Time to get out and play!”
Whatever. I live in Texas, y’all.
Summer in Central Texas does not signify going outside to frolic in the sunshine. It doesn’t mean relaxing with a glass of lemonade and a book on a cozy patio chair, gazing out at your children playing on your perfectly green and manicured lawn. It doesn’t mean afternoons filed with badminton, kickball, or miniature golf. (But who are we kidding, no one that’s not part of an Old Navy commercial even plays those games anyway.)
It means opening your front door and being greeting by a blast furnace.
It means melting, literally melting, in the 104 degree heat and sticking to your cheap plastic patio chair. Crossing your legs is useless, as the constant excretion of sweat keeps them slipping right off one another. And all the while you’re being eaten alive by mosquitoes who seem to have taken more steroids than [insert name of relevant hockey player here].
It means grass that’s brown and dying due to droughts and city water restrictions.
It means the only outdoor play worth partaking in must involve copious amounts of water unless you want to watch your children suffer heat exhaustion after 10 minutes. For some reason it’s easy for us to ignore the watering restrictions when we’re watering ourselves and not our grass.
It means reapplying your deodorant more often than your sunblock.
And that lemonade? Has probably already evaporated in the sweltering sun.
Needless to say summer is not really an enjoyable season around here. We shut ourselves indoors, pull the shades and curtains tight, and crank up the A/C in our shorts and tank tops. And we’re still sweating.
But once upon a time I got to experience a summer of a different color. I traveled up to the great province of Ontario to visit a friend from college. It was the end of July and beginning of August, a time of year in Texas that sends most people running for the A/C, leaving the streets empty and devoid of civilization. You may even see the token Texas tumbleweed roll down the street. If there was any breeze that is.
So imagine my pleasant surprise when I stepped out of my friend’s car upon arrival to her quaint Canadian farmhouse and was greeted by room temperature, um temperatures. No blast furnace. No immediate sweating. Just nice, comfortable early evening air. The kind of temps we only get here in Texas during the spring and fall. All two weeks of them.
I have something to tell you Canadians. Your summers are glorious. Glorious!
Open windows. Nice breezes. Minimal sweating.
One day as we prepared to go to the beach, my friend and I stopped off for some gas. The friendly attendant waved us off and warned us to be careful.
“It’s going to be a hot one, eh?” (You Canadians and your “eh’s.”)
Puh-lease. The high that day was like 94. I pretty much needed a sweater.
I wasn’t used to these days of dressing warm in the cool mornings, peeling off my clothes throughout the day, only to pile them back on and them some in the evenings and night times. Who would ever think you would need a fleece jacket in July?
Canadians, that’s who.
But every summer, as I sit on my cheap plastic patio chair, sweating profusely, sipping my warm, watered down lemonade, and wondering if Francis Ford Coppola would be interested in my new screenplay called Mosquito-pacalypse Forever, I zone out and think about the days of yore, when I experienced the chilliest summer known to Texans. Or this Texan.
I think I could get used to having a summer home that resides in our cousin to the north. It couldn’t be that bad up there, eh?
Ok, I am not made for that kind of heat.
I will stay in Canada, with the 10 month long winters and the brutal construction.
Thank you Leigh Ann for guest posting!
I heart you.. BIG TIME!