Remember the time you opened your eyes and looked at me for the first time? You took my breath away with your presence and my universe changed.
Remember the time you were taken from us in the night because you couldn’t breath? Your daddy stood by the door waiting for your return and asked every nurse that walked by when you would come back.
Remember the time you struggled to eat? And the time after that? And every time you ate for the next year? But we persevered because together we are determined and strong.
Remember the time you slept alone in your crib for the first time? So tiny in your big bed. We checked on you every half hour and slept with the monitor in our bed.
Remember the time you rolled over and discovered that you could travel? You were unstoppable and full of joy.
Remember the time you brought your knees underneath you and crawled forward? We cheered for you and encouraged your growth while mourning the little baby you were inching away from.
Remember the time you celebrated your first birthday? Balloons, cake, presents, and friends. Everyone celebrating your first year of life. A whole year brighter because of you.
Remember the time you went to daycare for the first time? You smiled at your new friends, reached out for the toys and waved at daddy. He peeked at you from around the corner, wiping his tears away, while you familiarized yourself, giggled, and pulled toys down from the shelves.
Remember the time you stepped away from your dad and kept on walking? I jumped up and down, clapping my hands and screaming. We were so proud of you and your unsteady steps closer to being independent.
Remember the time you laid your head on my shoulder and called me mommy? You didn’t call me mamma, and haven’t since. I am mommy now.
Remember the time I held you tight? Tighter than anytime before? I’m holding onto your infant stage, your innocence, your need for mamma.
I’m not ready to let go.