Memories of Loo

I often get lost in thought.

Co-workers regularly find me staring off, gazing at my grey speckled cubical wall, trying to piece together a project I’m working on.

A smell, a phrase, a song on the radio can take me to a memory that I want to go back to and reminisce with for a minute.

To remember the details, the faces, the beauty of that moment.

Or the tears, the darkness, and the loneliness that once was.

Today was no exception.

I don’t even remember what caused my pause in activity, freezing me in my spot, calling to mind the passage of time for just a moment.

But I should have been paying more attention

I shouldn’t have let it get out of hand.

When I entered the bathroom today, at work, and it was empty I was ecstatic. Not because I want to attempt a fly by poo, but because I did not want to speak to anyone.
The bathroom is not the place.

Let it be known that I do not poo at work.

I think it’s revolting.

If you poo at work, git ‘er done. But I do not. I need privacy, my own bathroom, and a relaxed environment free of the threat of incoming co-workers who want to chat through the metal dividers about their cats.

So there I sat, lost in thought, enjoying a memory that I cannot remember now and then I heard the faucet turn on.

OMG!  Someone had come in and was finished up while I was still sitting there.

OMG!

It would have appeared to them that I was waiting for them to leave so I could finish a big giant deuce.

I was mortified.
I do not poo at work!

And now.

Because of my reminiscing with memories, everyone thinks that I do.

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43 Responses to Memories of Loo
  1. Lady Estrogen
    August 15, 2011 | 6:52 am

    Ahhhhh. I almost cry when I have no choice but to do it. I have toilet issues, for sure. Waa.

    Avoidance whenever possible!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 4:12 pm

      I agree. Avoid!
      There’s no need, unless you have IBS

  2. Kir
    August 15, 2011 | 6:55 am

    Oh Leighann, this was perfect and funny and so well written, along with giving me the giggles.
    I too, get lost in thought all the time too…it’s an occupational hazard!!!! 😉

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:59 pm

      But there is not pooping!
      I know.
      me either.

  3. Amy
    August 15, 2011 | 7:37 am

    HA! I don’t poo at work or public places either. Gross.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:59 pm

      I wish I could! I really want to, but I can’t do it. I’m petrified that someone will hear… or smell OH GAWD

  4. Ali
    August 15, 2011 | 7:49 am

    I feel that this is an open forum so I can tell you (and of course only you) that I am the world’s fastest pooper. SO fast that my sister in law commented on it when we shared a hotel room once. So yes, I am totally able to poop at work faster than most people pee. HOWEVER, today I start working from home again so I guess in theory I’ll ONLY be pooping at work from now on. Shhh. Don’t tell anybody. Deep Thoughts.

    • Roxanne
      August 15, 2011 | 2:20 pm

      And here I thought I was the only one! Kindred spirits Ali, kindred spirits.

      I never have a problem pooping at work. I’m the only female working on the 2nd floor. So I pretty much have an entire bathroom completely to myself. It’s magical.

      • multitaskingmumma
        August 15, 2011 | 9:14 pm

        If I was the only female I would have no problem at all!!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:58 pm

      My friend is a fast pooper too.
      I envy her… and now you.

  5. Leigh Ann
    August 15, 2011 | 10:21 am

    Bahahahahaha! No one likes pooping at work, but even worse it holding it in!!!

    I worked with a guy who pooped ALL the time at work. Like at least twice a day. And stinky. When we were in one building, we only had 1 bathroom for all the employees. The building was so small that the smell got everywhere. We finally moved into another building that had a ladies and a men’s restroom, but it still stank up the whole back of the building. He was a shameless pooper.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:58 pm

      THAT guy?
      Would not be my friend.
      I would give him dirty looks!

  6. Becca Bernstein
    August 15, 2011 | 10:25 am

    That’s hilarious! Maybe you should include the link to this blog post in your work email signature file. Then everyone will know you weren’t pooping!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:58 pm

      LMAO.. THAT would be hilarious

      And then I got fired.

  7. Krista
    August 15, 2011 | 12:11 pm

    haha! that post did not go where I thought it was going.

  8. Julie @ mamamash
    August 15, 2011 | 12:13 pm

    Everybody poos. I’ve been grateful that at both of my last jobs outside the home, there was a separate restroom for the teachers. A one-staller. Perfect, unless you leave the restroom at the same time someone was coming in and the janitor had decided to save money and buy the cheap poo spray that month.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 3:58 pm

      A one stall bathroom is ridiculous!
      I am aware that everyone poos, however, I like living ignorant to when.

  9. Rach (DonutsMama)
    August 15, 2011 | 2:24 pm

    Pooing at work is so stressful. I couldn’t do it. I feel like everyone is watching when someone goes in the bathroom and timing you or something. Then you have to leave and look all nonchalant about the whole thing. Ugh.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:13 pm

      You said it perfectly!
      I feel like everyone knows I have to go.

  10. Bits of Bee
    August 15, 2011 | 2:55 pm

    I hear ya sista! I don’t poo at work either, and am mortified when I walk into our single stall bathroom to discover that someone has gone before me. The only thing worse than dropping a D and getting caught, is false-accusation D!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:13 pm

      ACK! A single stall bathroom!
      I wouldn’t be able to go at all…

  11. Amber
    August 15, 2011 | 3:09 pm

    I really enjoyed this post. I totally agree with you about needing to be home. Hey maybe everyone just thinks you go in there to hide instead. 😉

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:12 pm

      That’s probably what my friends at work think!!

  12. Kimberly
    August 15, 2011 | 3:14 pm

    Haha! That so didn’t go where I thought it would!

    When I was working I couldn’t do it there either. I can only do it at home!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:12 pm

      I hoped that people would be hit with something they weren’t expecting!

  13. Hopes@Staying Afloat!
    August 15, 2011 | 5:51 pm

    This is Hilarious!!! I too get lost in thought! Especially when I have a quiet moment while sitting on the toliet in the bathroom (which never ever EVER happens).

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:11 pm

      That’s why work is so great! Quiet, alone time. UNTIL… someone comes in with their assumptions!

  14. Lindsay
    August 15, 2011 | 7:25 pm

    Oh I’m soooo with you on this one.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 15, 2011 | 9:11 pm

      I’m getting mixed reviews! Thanks for being on my team!

  15. Crystal
    August 15, 2011 | 9:16 pm

    These comments are cracking me up!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 6:44 pm

      LOL… no one is taking me seriously! They are enablers

  16. Galit Breen
    August 15, 2011 | 10:08 pm

    Oh no! {I didn’t either. So I so feel your pain!}

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 6:43 pm

      thank you for having sympathy!

  17. Bridget
    August 16, 2011 | 12:46 am

    I’m sorry! This made me laugh out loud:) Whenever I poo in a public restroom I have anxiety that I made it stinky or forgot to flush.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 6:43 pm

      LMAO!!!! Made it stinky!!!

  18. Jessica
    August 16, 2011 | 1:11 am

    Just admit that you poo at work and everything will be better.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 16, 2011 | 6:43 pm

      you made me laugh out loud!
      AND I NEVER POO at work!
      But I know you have!

  19. suzanne @ pretty swell
    August 18, 2011 | 8:08 pm

    Hilarious! And, I’m totally with you. No poo in a public loo unless there is NO alternative. 🙂

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 20, 2011 | 9:00 am

      Smart woman!
      i knew I liked you for a reason.

  20. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger
    August 19, 2011 | 8:53 pm

    You kill me. So funny.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 20, 2011 | 8:44 am

      Thanks Robin… just after I posted this I told my boss about my blog.. oh geeez

  21. Carrie
    August 20, 2011 | 4:48 pm

    *snort* too funny

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 21, 2011 | 10:49 am

      Thanks Carri

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