NO! If You Are Middle Class We Will NOT Help You!

Time stood still. Air particles, wind and my own breath remained frozen in space while the words that had just been spoken echoed in my ears.

“Assistance cut.”

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She was obviously reading the wrong file; the wrong name had been picked up from the stack and this would be cleared up in a moment.

We needed daycare subsidy.

Slowly time began to move forward again and as if through mud my fingers flipped through the mound of documents on my lap. I double checked numbers and financial information to make sure they had received everything I was supposed to send.

Were they reading the same figures that I was?

The room became hot and my thoughts swirled around my head uncontrollably. Unable to grab hold of a plan I became confused.

Where would we find the extra money each month?

Questions danced unanswered creating sweat beads that slid down my face, or was that tears?

The voice on the phone, calm and reassuring, asked if I had any questions; was there anything more I needed?

I paced the floor and only then realized I had been pulling on a chunk of my hair since the start of the conversation. As pain and denial shot through my neck I answered her.

‘No, thank you for your time.”

All alone and feeling defeated, frustrated, and humiliated I let sadness engulf me.

I had no control.

I laid my head down and buried it into my arms surrendering to the depths of my despair.

When would the challenges stop?



Editors Note: This is part of the ongoing struggles we are having with our government who encourage Ontario residents to go to work and be successful but once they are they yank away all of their supports so they are back to being working poor. The lack of care is disheartening.

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58 Responses to NO! If You Are Middle Class We Will NOT Help You!
  1. Alison@Mama Wants This
    August 29, 2011 | 5:18 am

    Oh Leighann, I’m so sorry. I hope you find a solution soon. In the meantime, I’m throat punching your government. *hugs*

  2. Lady Estrogen
    August 29, 2011 | 6:46 am

    It’s so gross. I hate it – you KNOW how much I hate it.
    I have to cash in all my RRSPs in the next couple weeks… I better not f*cking get old – cuz I’m screwed!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:11 pm

      OH NO.. dude!
      I’m so so so sorry to hear this!
      GAWD, that makes me mad for you.

  3. TheDaddyYoDude
    August 29, 2011 | 6:54 am

    This is a problem faced by mid class in the country below you too. When they dropped our assistance for food before I was having the same thoughts: are they reading the same numbers I am? Do they realize that the money doesn’t just blow out of my ass?

    They do know, but they also know their bonus, their paychecks, and don’t care about mine. Keep your head up and your determination strong. Your words here will echo. Good luck. Much love

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:11 pm

      Thank you so much for your words!!
      Your encouragement was so refreshing.
      You are very right, “they” do know that we’re struggling but, as a good friend recently told me, “the government doesn’t use their own services”

  4. Nic
    August 29, 2011 | 7:25 am

    This frustrates me on so many levels. The governent needs to be providing more supports!!! The daycares need to not charge 50-80 a day!!! There needs to be a better way to provide licensed, high quality care that provide children with “the best start”. Aunt Nic is just gonna have to watch her!!! Now I’m all fired up!!! Lets make signs and rally!!!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:09 pm

      That last sentence made me laugh out loud!
      You’re so hilarious!! Thanks for being my support Nic. xo

  5. Galit Breen
    August 29, 2011 | 7:25 am

    Oh Leighann, I am so sorry to hear this.

    Such a powerful read, you’re pulling at my heartstrings, and I’m sending you the good thoughts that I have.


    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:08 pm

      Thank you Galit.
      I’m hoping things work out, it’s consuming me right now.

  6. CM @ A Little Lilac
    August 29, 2011 | 7:37 am

    So well written, I can feel your pain. Sorry about this recent development. As a working mom myself, I can totally relate. Take care, I hope everything will work out.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:07 pm

      I am hearing a lot of families experience this.
      I wish it wasn’t that way.

  7. SoberJulie
    August 29, 2011 | 7:38 am

    Wonderfully written! I could easily relate, we’re from Ontario and we NEVER qualified. We watched friends pay $8 for daycare and we paid $110.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:06 pm

      I’m from Ontario too!
      Mine just went up to $900

      • SoberJulie
        August 31, 2011 | 9:57 pm

        I meant $110/day for 2 kids. Brutal

        • multitaskingmumma
          September 4, 2011 | 1:06 pm


  8. BalancingMama (Julie)
    August 29, 2011 | 7:50 am

    Oh, I’m sorry. I understand this somewhat, as I have a close family member with traumatic spinal cord injury and paralysis. She’s not “poor enough” to get full assistance, yet she can’t afford the care she really needs. It’s been so difficult. Sigh. Hugs!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:05 pm

      Yes, that’s what it’s like!
      Not poor enough but not rich
      I’m so sorry for your family member, how very frustrating for her!

  9. angela
    August 29, 2011 | 7:52 am

    Oh, I’m so very sorry. Obviously, my experience is mostly with the US government, but it is always amazing to me that the people who are trying hardest seem to get the least help 🙁

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:04 pm

      From what I’m learning the US treats their middle class the same way
      Sad world.

  10. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 29, 2011 | 7:52 am

    Sending a virtual hug 🙁
    No wise words, but thinking of you xxx

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 9:00 pm

      The means more!
      Thank you so much xo

  11. Jenn@Fox in the City
    August 29, 2011 | 7:59 am

    Oh hun, I completely understand your position. I am paying 2/3’s of my salary for daycare but we need what little is left to pay the bills. There is no room for a crisis let alone retirement savings.

    I am so sorry that you are facing this. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. In the mean time, we need to continue to lobby both the Provincial and Federal governments for affordable daycare.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:59 pm

      I’m sorry that you know what it feels like.
      i don’t understand why our world is like this.
      Greed I suppose

  12. Julie @ mamamash
    August 29, 2011 | 8:43 am

    This is such a shame and an indictment of the sad state of affairs our global economy is in. Middle class folks keep the world running, and we kill ourselves doing it while greedy rich bastards and lazy welfare-cheaters prey on us.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:55 pm

      This comment is exactly how I feel!

  13. Stephanie
    August 29, 2011 | 9:25 am

    I am feeling so frustrated for you right now. My husband and I feel the same way, no matter what you do to try and get ahead, you get bit in the butt! I hope you are able to find a solution. ((HUGS))

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:55 pm

      Thank you Stephanie,
      Just knowing that someone else is getting fired up over this makes me feel like I’m not so alone.

  14. Leigh Ann
    August 29, 2011 | 11:00 am

    Being an adult sucks. I’m sorry about your struggles.
    This line is heartbreaking and beautiful though: “sweat beads that slid down my face, or was that tears?”
    Thinking of you.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:54 pm

      Thank you for seeing that line!
      I loved that one.. and hated it.

  15. Lindsey
    August 29, 2011 | 11:42 am

    Our family’s in the same boat. I prefer to do the stay-at-home mom thing anyway, but if I did want to work outside the home I’d actually be paying to do so.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:54 pm

      It’s unfair that if a mother who stayed at home did want to go to work she couldn’t.

  16. jen
    August 29, 2011 | 11:42 am

    How terribly unfair! Sending prayers your way.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:53 pm

      thank you 🙂

  17. Krista
    August 29, 2011 | 11:56 am

    Not sure waht to say other than I’m so sorry. And I hope something changes for you to lighten this weight.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:53 pm

      Thank you so much Krista!
      I am crossing my fingers and toes that someone listens

  18. Lindsay
    August 29, 2011 | 12:04 pm

    you have painted the picture of exactly how I felt when I lost my subsidy for daycare. I wanted to ask the lady if she understood that my monthly daycare costs for 2 children were roughly the amount of 1 paycheck… and that my ex-husband doesn’t pay ANY child support and I have very few choices about WHICH daycare service I use, as the government has made opening a daycare nearly impossible for people by making the requirements so unbelievably irrational that noone even wants to touch it…
    I, too am frustrated by the overwhelming fact that I was HOPING my children’s school would have full time kindergarten, because I can’t afford for one to go to daycare every other day.
    Oh wait – if we move to Quebec, we can have awesome daycare cheap. But that’s the ONLY place.

    I could rant all effin day.

    {hugs} to you…

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:52 pm

      I hate that so many people understand how this feels!
      Big hugs back!
      Rant any time.

  19. Julie
    August 29, 2011 | 12:23 pm

    Leighann, this is heartbreaking. I see this so, so often in the US and it angers me to no end. What exactly are you supposed to do when you’re doing all that you should and you’re penalized for it? How much healthier we would *all* be if we just decided to take care of one another.

    Wishing you the best–I hope this gets resolved in a way that doesn’t just make things harder. 🙁

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:47 pm

      You’ve got it!
      If we would just forget about buying more more more and just give.

  20. Kimberly
    August 29, 2011 | 1:00 pm

    This is so awful…so so awful.
    I’m so very sorry friend that you’re going through this. It’s not fair and I’m pissed off for you. I know that doesn’t do much for your situation but if I could kick someone in the taco, I would
    Sending you lots of prayers and love.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:46 pm

      Just reading that you wanted to kick someone in the taco made me feel better!

  21. Jessica
    August 29, 2011 | 3:18 pm

    My last job was working with the state for childcare subsidy program. It was a very difficult job because the state had very strict rules that we had to follow. There was no bending the rules. Then budget cuts came along and it got really bad. We had to cute a lot of people off the program and there was nothing we could do. It’s a constant struggle. I’m sorry you are going through this.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:36 pm

      I really do feel for the employees of the subsidy program. It can’t be easy telling people that they can’t have help anymore.
      It isn’t their fault.
      The government doesn’t actually use their own services.

  22. Hopes@Staying Afloat!
    August 29, 2011 | 4:51 pm

    Oh I can only imagine how frustrating this is for you. I’m so sorry !!

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:34 pm

      Thank you… it’s awful and I’m tired of fighting what feels like a losing battle.

  23. Runnermom-jen
    August 29, 2011 | 4:58 pm

    Oh my goodness…I’m so sorry.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:34 pm

      Thanks Jen… it’s very frustrating.

  24. Ali
    August 29, 2011 | 5:08 pm

    Oh gosh. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s such a tough thing being a working mom and having to weigh the cost of child care. The year I had to pay for full-time child care for all three we were close to $500 a week and that’s not even a lot here! Made me sick. I know how it feels thinking that you’re working for nothing but to pay for that. It’s horrible. I’m so sorry.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:33 pm

      How on earth is anyone supposed to afford that amount for daycare??

  25. Rach (DonutsMama)
    August 29, 2011 | 5:25 pm

    That’s so awful. Yes, families like us are always caught in the middle. Not rich enough to make it alone, not poor enough to get help.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:33 pm

      It’s an endless cycle. We are supposed to become self sufficient but when we do we are punished for it.

  26. Kimberly
    August 30, 2011 | 12:41 am

    Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. The families that need the help aren’t able to get it and that’s so frustrating. I’m right there with you, unsure of where to turn.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:32 pm

      I hate that you are in the same situation!
      How are two COUNTRIES experiencing this? With that many people you would think we would have figured out how to relieve the financial stress!

  27. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger
    August 30, 2011 | 1:24 pm

    I’m still so frustrated about this for you. It’s not right and there’s no appreciation for the desperation it provides.

    • multitaskingmumma
      August 31, 2011 | 8:25 pm

      I am frustrated too.
      I have heard back from my MPP telling me that they will be discussing the way the Ministry handles their processes.
      I have my fingers crossed

  28. cindy
    September 8, 2011 | 2:05 pm

    You’re not alone, for sure. We’re going through our own money issues right now and it seems like the more we ask for help, the more we get shut down because we’re just over the limit for what is considered eligible to get any type of assistance. We’re talking JUST over the limit. Maybe the limits aren’t realistic? I sympathize with you because we’re right there in the thick of it too.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 8, 2011 | 9:46 pm

      I really wish that the government(s) would listen to people like you and I who use these services. It feels like we’re always struggling but nothing ever gets fixed.

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    October 25, 2011 | 4:36 am

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