Where Ever You Are Little Boy…

This evening, through mass hysteria, bright colours, and shrieking children we faced My Little Pony.

Huge plush oxymoron’s who danced and sang on stage, engaged the children in the audience, and left the excited kids yearning for more once they were gone.

It was exhausting.

After the huge headed horses left the stage we made our way to the next activity; the dump trucks.

I was under the impression that it was another show, but we were met with a line longer than the one to see Santa.

A line my child was not going to stand in willingly no matter how awesome the dump truck was!

And all just for a picture with a giant plush truck that didn’t move, talk, or sing.

Children danced and wiggled impatiently just so they could have their turn next to the huge yellow and red truck. Just so they could put their fingers in his enormous nostrils, pick at his astounding eye balls, and say cheese for mom who was bouncing around with her iPhone.

We walked laps of the line, entertaining our daughters claps for more “tractor” each time she thought we were leaving her new four wheeled friend for good.

With each lap I slowed my pace and watched as a mother yanked firmly on her son’s harness. His teddy bear pack back with a leash attached so that he couldn’t roam too far.

Affectionately called the leash but not really meant to be used as one.

Her yanks and frustration grew with each pass, her angry voice threatening to take him home immediately while she dragged him back into the line.

My feet stopped moving.

She grabbed her son by the shoulders and looked down on him, her large body towering over his small trusting one, and screamed in his face.

“Stop it right NOW!”

And then she hit him three times on the hands.

This little boy who had no interest in the line, the truck, or the other children.

Who had been given empty threats and punishments, told he was going to be taken home and that he would miss out, by a mother who was so obsessed with getting a picture that she didn’t hear her son’s pleads to go home prior to his this point.

I stepped toward her, my mouth wide and my heart pounding.

Looking around I could see people with the same reaction pulling their children closer, shaking their heads, and beginning to whisper.

As though in slow motion I walked closer.

“WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? F&%$ OFF!”

Her obscenity rang through my whole body.

She looked to the people around her for support, the very same people who had just shook their heads, and gasped in disgust.

The woman beside her smiled in agreement.

I searched for Brian and our daughter as my heart raced. I had so many thoughts going through my head and I needed him to help me sort them out.

But I couldn’t leave that little boy.

As I began to walk towards the crowd of people and the angry mother I heard my daughter call for me.

They hadn’t seen anything.

Would I please just leave it alone?

I couldn’t do anything anyway.

My gut kept telling me not to walk away so I quickly turned around and headed back to the line. I needed to tell this woman that her behaviour was inappropriate. That her language in public, in front of all of those children, and as an example for her own child was barbaric.

I needed to let that child know someone cared.

But she was gone.

My heart hurts.

I feel like I failed.

So where ever you are little boy I am thinking about you.

 

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42 Responses to Where Ever You Are Little Boy…
  1. Nic
    October 27, 2011 | 6:02 am

    Holly Shit!!!!! Omg I feel
    Your pain! That an aweful parent to treat her son that way. Im so very proud of you for stopping to care for
    That little boy and for wanting to do something in a room full of bystanders who did nothing to avoid her!!!! People like you stir up change and make a difference!!! It’s
    Why I love you!!! That lady will get hers in due time! What goes around comes around!

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:39 pm

      I wish you had been there with me Nic.

  2. Alison@Mama Wants This
    October 27, 2011 | 7:14 am

    I’m literally shaking with anger at that mother. How could she? HOW COULD SHE?

    I’m thinking of that little boy too. Poor little guy deserves better.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:39 pm

      I was frozen with the same thoughts, “how could she?”
      He so deserves better.

  3. christina
    October 27, 2011 | 8:23 am

    i am in tears after reading this. tears. how sick of her. how sick.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:38 pm

      That’s how I felt.
      So sad.

  4. MommaKiss
    October 27, 2011 | 9:44 am

    I’ve so been here. I have. When my own kid are with me, instead of saying something directly to the mother, I may say to them “Wow, doesn’t that little boy look SO SAD?” or “Boys, I would NEVER put a leash on you!” All passive aggressive, but still – it’s said, it’s loud, and it’s heard by the offender. I’m sad for this little boy, though. Know you had the best intentions.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:37 pm

      You are so freakin’ smart!
      I’m going to remember this.
      I never think of it because I’m a confrontational person, but maybe passive aggressive is the new me?

      • MommaKiss
        October 28, 2011 | 9:01 am

        I don’t know about smart, but I do that all the time. When people cut in line, when we hear other kids say “hate” or other “bad words” I’m all “BOYS, ISN’T IT RUDE TO CUT IN LINE!” Heh. Teaches them and makes the other person feel like a douche. Or at least it should.

  5. Ali
    October 27, 2011 | 9:57 am

    Oh. I hate all of those “I should have done that” moments. Chalk this up to experience. I still couldn’t have said anything either, even after being a mom, with mom emotions for much longer than you. But think of it this way: At least by her being gone, she probably realized that her outburst was completely irrational and maybe (hopefully) learned from it. So sad.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:36 pm

      I really hope that is why she left.
      I don’t think she had the tools she needed in order to parent appropriately.
      I know she wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.

  6. Butterflygirl
    October 27, 2011 | 10:08 am

    I teared up at this post! Man oh man I wish she didn’t get away with that. I can understand how you didn’t say something and even if you did would it of changed anything?! Poor little boy:( Next time this happens you will probably not think twice about whether you should say anything. I don’t think I would of said anything but if you did and I was there I would of smile and nodded at YOU in agreement:)

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:35 pm

      Thank you my friend!
      It was an emotional night and a surreal feeling for me to be frozen like that.

  7. Jenn@Fox in the City
    October 27, 2011 | 10:35 am

    Okay now, I am about to play devil’s advocate and say that I am trying not to judge that mom.

    Certainly what she did and said is soooooo not right and I truly feel for that poor little boy. I also feel for that mother because there are very few moms who actually WANT to act like that.

    I struggled with PPD as you know but it brought with it rage, intense, powerful and very difficult to control rage. I did and said things that I would never imagine myself saying to my kids. I hate myself for it. I knew then that it wasn’t how I wanted to be as a mother but the rage was so all encompassing and was my first reaction when I felt overwhelmed and/or no longer in control.

    I would hope that if a stranger came up to me that they would approach it from a position of trying to help both of us because it was truly a cry for help, not for judgement.

    But maybe that was just me.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:34 pm

      I love you for this comment.
      I love you for pointing out that maybe this mother needed help, support, and someone to help her.
      You are so right.
      I really hope she has someone in her life who will step forward and do that.

  8. Amanda Austin
    October 27, 2011 | 11:18 am

    Just ridiculous. I understand motherhood can be frustrating but don’t take it out on your child who trust you more than anything. somtimes I wish people like that would “get theirs”

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:33 pm

      I firmly believe that those kind of people will get theirs!

  9. Elaine
    October 27, 2011 | 11:30 am

    My heart goes out to that little boy, so much. And I’m sorry you had to witness that.

    But the fact of the matter is there probably isn’t that much you could have done to change the situation.

    I just hope he is okay.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:33 pm

      You’re so right.
      She was an angry mother and i have a feeling it was a normal things.

  10. Amy
    October 27, 2011 | 1:04 pm

    What a horrible situation! That mom needs a good shaking.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:31 pm

      Agreed Amy

  11. Kimberly
    October 27, 2011 | 1:38 pm

    I absolutely hate watching situations like that, and unfortunately I’ve seen it several times. It makes my heart ache for that little child. Hopefully since she walked away, she realized how terribly wrong she was. Hopefully.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:31 pm

      I hate that it’s a common scene.
      I also hate that she probably doesn’t know any better.

  12. Kir
    October 27, 2011 | 2:00 pm

    I don’t know what to say beyond, that little boy deserves more.

    I use the monkey leashes on the boys..all the time.
    and so that makes me defensive, I am using them to protect them and to make sure they don’t go running off the way little boys will.

    I have raised my voice in public places too…when no one is listening to me…BUT if Gio or Jacob was telling me he wanted to leave we would leave.
    MY voice gets loud when they want a picture but refuse to wait or are doing dangerous things while we do.

    I don’t think that woman did the right thing at all..and her little boy well my heart aches for him.

    I just hope that I am never that mom, even in my worst moments.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:29 pm

      You could never ever be that mom.
      But I will tell you this situation has made me more conscious of how I react to my daughter!

  13. Amber
    October 27, 2011 | 2:31 pm

    This made me cry. I can’t stand parents like that. Do they not understand the pattern that they are laying forth for this child. Right now he is young and innocent but some day he could repeat the same patterns with his own child. All because Mom wanted a photo that he did not want.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:28 pm

      you are so so right!
      Setting a pattern of abuse, frustration, and anger.

  14. Leigh Ann
    October 27, 2011 | 3:12 pm

    My heart goes out to you knowing how much you wanted to stand up for this little boy. My heart goes out to his mom too, wondering what must have been going with her to make her so angry at her son. I’d like to chalk it up to frustration of a hectic day, and hope that she’s not like that all the time. Your desire to help, your restraint, and your struggle to understand make you a very caring person.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:26 pm

      Thank you my friend.
      I am so upset that I didn’t get to help him.
      But I think it was supposed to be this way

  15. Mama Track
    October 27, 2011 | 3:21 pm

    Wow. Just wow. I’m so sorry for you. And for him.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:26 pm

      Me too.
      So sad.

  16. Charity
    October 27, 2011 | 4:10 pm

    This crushes me. My oldest and I have had horrible mornings the last two days because of trying to give her eye drops for pink eye. After today’s, I realized I could not do this. It is damaging both of us too much. My hubby will be doing eye drops from now on. Her getting the little drop is not worth the pain it is inflicting on both of us.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:26 pm

      Oh I’m so sorry that your daughter has Pink Eye. That is so painful and annoying to treat!

  17. Cheryl @ Mommypants
    October 27, 2011 | 4:16 pm

    It’s sad. It’s sad that she had so much anger inside her, and so little understanding of her child, that she let it out in such an inappropriate and damaging way.

    There really wasn’t anything she could do. A woman who would yell that at another adult in front of children? Is not going to hear what you’d have to say anyway.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:22 pm

      This really resonates with my Cheryl, thank you.
      You are right, if she is going to yell at me in front of that whole line and her child she wouldn’t listen to me.

  18. Hazel
    October 27, 2011 | 7:14 pm

    What a difficult situation.

    How heartbreaking to watch the little boy suffer. I hope his mom was just having a rough day and that she felt ashamed about her behaviour.

    Whenever I feel frustrated I try to put myself in my child’s shoes and it takes some of the frustration away. Too bad this mother couldn’t.

    • multitaskingmumma
      October 27, 2011 | 10:20 pm

      I don’t think this mother had the skills to understand that she was just having a bad day.
      Sadly I think this was a normal day for them.

  19. Julie
    October 28, 2011 | 1:09 pm

    I just pray for that family, that the mom can get help or parenting lessons and that the little boy grows up unscathed from moments like that.

    I also hope that I can always be patient with my child in private as well as in public.

  20. Jen {at} take2mommy
    October 28, 2011 | 9:47 pm

    What a sad story. I’m proud of you for wanting to step in. In the end, letting it go as you did was probably the way to go. That jerk mom would have just been on the defensive and probably wouldn’t have listened to you. But hopefully she will realize that her behavior was wrong. Hopefully the fact that you nearly confronted her will help her think twice next time.

  21. Rach (DonutsMama)
    October 29, 2011 | 9:26 pm

    I cannot imagine what that poor boy deals with at home. It sickens me when I see people treat their children like this. I’m glad you tried to speak up for that boy. We need more people like you.

  22. Trish
    October 30, 2011 | 2:12 am

    I’m crying for this little boy because if his mom does this in public what does she do behind closed doors? I had an incident like this in Walmart one day. I got to speak to the mom. She didn’t listen. This was when I had miscarried and wanted a baby so desperately, it made me angry that this woman had a child and treated him that way. The difference was that when I spoke to her no one backed her up…they rallied behind me. She walked out of Walmart angry and I wondered what I had started-would the boy take a beating for what I had done? Maybe I made things worse for him? Next time I’ll take out my iPhone and call 911…I decided then. I’ve never had to do it…but I will. The shame I saw in that boys eyes will never leave me. I still wonder where he is and of he’s ok. This is almost 3 yrs later. Good for you…maybe she’ll be more aware next time, but I feel for that boy. And I feel your pain.

  23. Sweaty
    October 30, 2011 | 9:37 am

    Oh this post really touched a soft spot in me. Frankly because there were many times I witnessed a similar thing happened, and yet chickensheet that I was, I didn’t do anything. Each time wishing I had done something differently afterwards.

    It’s a shame how some parents behave and treat their children. And worse, they didn’t seem to be aware that they’re doing anything wrong. It broke my heart every time to see a parent mistreating their child, in the name of ‘discipline.’ As a parent who doesn’t believe in punishment of any kind, I really believe that there are always better alternatives to tackle the problem other than hitting or screaming at your child.

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