A Mother When…

You know you’re a mother when…

When you suffer with Post Partum Depression and desperately try to crawl out from the depths of the shadows that keep you away from the joy that should be exploding from your soul.

When the thought of getting into the shower, pulling on clothing, and brushing your hair is so exhausting that your body simply cannot pull itself out of bed.

When asking for help and admitting that you have scary thoughts; that you don’t think you are fit to be a mother, and that you don’t think you can make it through the next minute let alone the next day is the hardest thing you have ever done.

When your family and friends reach into the darkness that has swallowed you and pull you into the light, bringing your relief for the first time in months.

When you work harder than you ever have to find your true self even through you aren’t sure your true self exists anymore.

When you beat PPD.

When you see your gorgeous child, your supportive family, and the people who encouraged you to keep fighting, standing beside you applauding.

When you SEE your gorgeous child. Really see.

When you allow your heart to explode with love for the being that you created.

When you cry for the lost time.

When you pray that it never happens again.

When you accept that it might.

When you grab hold of your child’s hand, look into her face, and smile because you are a fighter. You are a mother.

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33 Responses to A Mother When…
  1. Nic
    December 22, 2011 | 8:10 am

    Awwwwe this is beautiful!!! I’m so proud of you!! Thank you for sharing this and helping others! B

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:41 am

      Love you.

  2. Alison@Mama Wants This
    December 22, 2011 | 8:50 am

    Aw, that’s just gorgeous, Leighann. So heartfelt and you’re just so darn courageous.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:40 am

      Thank you Alison.
      You are such a wonderful support. xo

  3. imperfectmomma
    December 22, 2011 | 8:51 am

    This is beautiful! You are a mighty awesome fighter and a great encouragement

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:40 am

      Thank you so much.
      Keep fighting… it isn’t easy

  4. Amber
    December 22, 2011 | 10:24 am

    Beautifully written. With Katelyn I had PPD so bad that when I went for my check up after giving birth they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital until I saw a counselor and had set up appointments.
    So many joys to motherhood and that’s not one of them.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:37 am

      you’re so right…
      there are things about motherhood that people don’t tell you.

    • Nicole
      April 13, 2012 | 8:48 am

      As always I am proud of you! I wish I had more of that esesrtivaness and rock the boat personality. You know where I come from and this makes me proud! If anything in the past week I’ve learnt that you can’t change your values or who you are or what you stand up for- not for anyone especially a job! I love your spirit about things that matter! Don’t ever let someone stop you!!! Xoxo Nic

  5. Lady Estrogen
    December 22, 2011 | 10:40 am

    You’re taking big, brave steps, darling 🙂


    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:35 am

      so are you!!

  6. Sweaty
    December 22, 2011 | 12:43 pm

    Leighann, reading this words just made me so, so proud of you! I’m glad that you realize what a strong, intelligent, loving person you are. And, you are an amazing mother! I’m here cheering on the sidelines for you always!!

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:35 am

      You are also all of these things!
      I am thinking of you today!

  7. Galit Breen
    December 22, 2011 | 3:04 pm

    Oh my heart, this? Is stunning.

    *You* are stunning.


    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:34 am

      Thanks Galit!
      YOU are also stunning!!

  8. Crystal
    December 22, 2011 | 3:53 pm

    Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing, and good for you for overcoming PPD and encouraging other mothers who might be struggling as well!

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:34 am

      Thanks Crystal.
      Enjoy your holidays!

  9. Teresa
    December 22, 2011 | 5:27 pm

    thank you for sharing this. Really. I’m sorry you went through it, but relieved that I am not alone.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:34 am

      You are SO not alone!
      I’m so glad that you commented here.

  10. Bruna
    December 22, 2011 | 5:56 pm

    It amazes me to no end how often I read about bloggy friends suffering from PPD. I did not know, my friend.

    *Hugs* for you. Glad you fought back. I can only imagine how hard it.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 23, 2011 | 9:07 am

      I am surprised how many people it has affected too.

  11. katery
    December 22, 2011 | 6:36 pm

    so very glad you’re coming through.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 23, 2011 | 9:07 am

      Thank you xoxo.

  12. Cathy
    December 22, 2011 | 7:08 pm

    Your words are helping so many. You are stronger than you realize, and we are so proud of you. xoxox

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 23, 2011 | 9:07 am

      Thank you Cathy xoxoxox

  13. Jessica
    December 22, 2011 | 7:44 pm

    You are a mother. A very strong one at that.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 23, 2011 | 9:06 am

      Thank you Jessica

  14. Miss Marina Star
    December 22, 2011 | 8:45 pm

    This was such a moving post. A different take on motherhood from a survivor of PPD. It’s truly inspiring, I loved it.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 23, 2011 | 9:06 am

      thank you.
      I think it’s important to let people know that it’s not always roses and sunshine.

  15. Julie
    December 23, 2011 | 10:17 pm

    I remember struggling a little with PPD for the first couple of months. It was mild, and mostly anxiety, but I remember the fear of losing control and my heart sinks every time I read about someone battling it as well.

    But the stories of those who have survived it are so uplifting, and I’m glad there are many of them out there for those who might be seeking support.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 25, 2011 | 7:27 am

      This is why I write.
      To let other moms know they aren’t alone.

  16. Rach (DonutsMama)
    December 26, 2011 | 2:55 pm

    I totally get how you feel. But those little ones are SO worth it. So worth it. And the gorgeous thing about them?? They can’t even see the turmoil we feel–they think we’re the greatest things ever. And we are.

    • multitaskingmumma
      December 29, 2011 | 12:38 pm

      You are so right.
      And thank you for getting it.

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