Brian has been laid off since before Christmas.
Since then Brian and our little girl have been spending every day together, crafting, exploring, joining a toddler group at the Early Years Centre, and becoming the best of friends.
If I said that I wasn’t jealous I would be lying.
I know that the father/daughter relationship is an important one, and the bond that they are building is one that will last forever. I’m grateful that they have this time together, that Brian is a hands on dad, and that our little girl gets structure, rules, and fun when she’s with him.
But I am feeling left out and Brian is feeling resentful, and overworked.
Before leaving for work everyday I give my daughter a big hug and kiss, tell her that I love her, and remind her that she’s going to go on many adventures.
And before I’ve finished my hug she’s pulling away, eager to get back to her daddy’s side.
They share so many of the same characteristics, mannerisms, and interests.
While I’m at work he is experiencing what I did while I was off on maternity leave for the year; running after a toddler, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and enforcing the rules.
And when I come home he needs a break.
I want to give him that break. I run in, sweep my daughter up into my arms, kiss her face, ask her about her day, and squeeze her tight.
But before my squeezes are done she’s pulling away and wants her daddy.
He’s her buddy.
He’s a wonderful man who has picked up the slack while I battle lack of energy, med trials, working full time, and depression.
And he has a shadow who refuses to leave his side.
A shadow I used to have….