The Darker Side of Blogging

I’ve had this space for over a year.

I know! It’s a toddler blog now.

And throughout my time in the interwebs I have picked up skills that I could have never learned from a book on blogging etiquette, or “Twitter for Dummies.”

I’ve made connections I didn’t think were possible and friendships that I’m grateful for.

This is something I did not expect.

But there is also a dark side to blogging.

*Cue scary music and lower lights.

Don’t be afraid.

Because I’m here to bring awareness to the uncomfortable issues and I’m going to let you in on the things no one likes to talk about.

The Darker Side of Blogging

1. There are blogger’s who are only interested in numbers – those blogger’s do not care about your content, their content, bringing awareness to social issues, you’re new hat…. They just want numbers! Do not get caught up in the numbers’ game my friends! Focus on your content and writing from the heart. It will serve you well.

2. Cliques!
GASP
What?
There are NOT cliques in blogging! You’re a dirty LIAR Leighann!
Well.. I thought I was too, for the first 6 months of my writing career, until I found myself plopped right into the middle of one and then thrown promptly out.
I’m a little dense when it comes to cliques so I didn’t realize I’d been cast aside for a few weeks.
If this should happen to you don’t sweat it, come and chat with me, those peeps aren’t worth your time!

3. Blogger’s aren‘t paid enough. Many get started because they want to be the next Scary Mommy or the Bloggess but the reality is that we are under paid and unappreciated for what we do.

4. Writing, engaging, creating proposals, tweeting, commenting, and emailing takes a lot of time away from family, friends, and other hobbies. It can be hard for those outside of the blogging community to understand the time commitment.

5. There are people on the internet that are only interested in attacking ideas, opinions, and the writing skills of others. Trolls are negative commenter’s who never have anything constructive or interesting to say. They are hurtful people who bully around the interwebs. They’re common and if you blog then chances are one of them will find you and insult your craft.

 

Go link up with my friend Sweaty and share all things blogging!

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69 Responses to The Darker Side of Blogging
  1. Alison@Mama Wants This
    March 14, 2012 | 5:55 am

    Oh so true! To every light, there is darkness, and blogging is no exception.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:28 pm

      But I really like the light of blogging and can see past the negativity.

  2. Kristin
    March 14, 2012 | 7:02 am

    Only in blogging cliques are called “tribes”. Just like in real life we need to march to our own drum confidently and with purpose. I’m still working on that.
    Blogging is always unsatisfying when I get caught up in the numbers.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:27 pm

      If I had a tribe we would be warriors.
      There would be ass kicking going on.
      And I would make them call me their ninja boss.

      That’s probably why I was kicked out.

  3. Ali
    March 14, 2012 | 8:39 am

    Hold on. You got a new hat? And who threw you out? Do I need to do more virtual ass-kicking? If it makes you feel any better, I don’t feel like I’ve fallen into a clique. Frankly, I don’t think anybody likes me that much. Kinda like highschool. Or maybe I’m a lazy blogger. Or I make fun of “Canadia.”

    • Leigh Ann
      March 15, 2012 | 1:49 pm

      I agree. I don’t feel like a part of a clique. Which is very much like high school. I mingled with a little bit of everyone.

      • multitaskingmumma
        March 16, 2012 | 8:09 am

        Yes! and I prefer it that way.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:26 pm

      I didn’t get a new hat.
      I so would have told you.
      BUT I did lose the heel off of my shoe… so embarrassing.
      Note to self: do not purchase shoes from Walmart that you will be using to walk in … ever.

      Also?
      I like you. Even when you make fun of my igloo

  4. Rach (DonutsMama)
    March 14, 2012 | 8:57 am

    Yeah the cliques bother me, IRL or online. I’ve realized the relationships are more important than the silly obligations. So now I comment when I can and where I feel moved to and people who are my friends will understand that just b/c I may lay low for awhile doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned them. I like supporting my fellow bloggers and yes, sometimes it hurts when you get “kicked out” (and I’m sorry you had that experience. Boo hiss). But now I blog because I like writing, I like interacting and learning new things. I can’t worry about numbers and comments anymore.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:25 pm

      Rach!
      I love this comment so very very much.
      A real friend is one who understands that life gets in the way. That we have obligations and families, appointments and meetings. We can’t always be glued to our computers reading new posts, or on Twitter responding to tweets.
      Support is about following up when we can.
      I love that you get this.
      You are wonderful.

  5. Paulette
    March 14, 2012 | 11:43 am

    Amen!

    It’s easy to get caught up in the hysteria. After that, you take a breath and remember why you started. It’s a selfish/giving thing. It started as something for you. When you forget that, it’s no longer fun, important, or yours.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:23 pm

      You are so wise my friend!
      I think that is so true for many things. When you are no longer passionate about them it’s time to move on.

  6. angela
    March 14, 2012 | 12:41 pm

    It’s such a good thing I am not caught up in my numbers. I’d be pouting in a corner 🙂

    These are such good points!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:20 pm

      I would be too!
      Whenever I do look at my stats I have no idea what they should look like anyway, I just look at the keywords that people used to find me.

  7. Missy | The Literal Mom
    March 14, 2012 | 12:42 pm

    Great list. And I’m just now starting to experience some of the “darker side” of blogging. Overall, I think it’s overwhelmingly positive, but yes, you are right. Some of it – not as much fun. Thanks for linking up with our Great Blogging Anniversary!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:19 pm

      NO. YOU. ARE. NOT.
      There should be no dark side for you! You are too cute.

  8. Dana K
    March 14, 2012 | 12:45 pm

    I don’t know if I would notice getting in or kicked out of a blogging clique. I connect with individuals. I connect with posts that touch me. I’m too lazy to try & earn money from blogging.

    I will sit back & encourage Ali to kick virtual ass from the comfort of my couch. Just let me know…

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:18 pm

      LOL.
      I don’t notice much either, if I love a post I comment.
      I think I noticed after I was booted out and the people stopped responding to me.
      Harsh!

  9. JDaniel4's Mom
    March 14, 2012 | 12:46 pm

    I think when you start blogging you don’t realize all this exist. Maybe it is a good thing.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:17 pm

      Perhaps it is.. if you did realize it right away many would stop.

  10. my honest answer
    March 14, 2012 | 1:39 pm

    All so true! Especially about not being paid enough 🙂

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:16 pm

      There should be a standard rate..
      $30 an hour will do to start.

  11. Sweaty
    March 14, 2012 | 2:02 pm

    Leave it to you to mention the ‘unmentionables’! LOL. It’s true what you said here, Leighann. As much as it’s an unpleasant topic to talk about, I think as a blogger you need to be aware that there is this darker side of blogging so that you can prepare yourself and not be discouraged when you do encounter one or two ‘sour grapes’ along the way.

    Being an introvert, I really hate confrontations, and I try to stay away from any kind of drama. But even when you’ve done things with the best intentions, I’m amazed at how far things can be misconstrued by some other bloggers.

    Speaking of cliques, ay yay yay!!! Can’t agree with you more, dear friend. It really is high school–believe it or not–for some bloggers out there. I’ve seen how vindictive, judgmental, and competitive some of them could be. Not to mention the blatant sucking up and bullying.

    Having said that, for all it’s worth, thank goodness there are more good things that come from blogging than bad 🙂 For me, all the wonderful, supportive, and loyal friends I’ve met this past one year more than makes up for it!

    Thanks for linking up and joining us in our celebration, sweet friend! xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:16 pm

      I have only encountered the bullying once and I feel sad for the person.
      Mostly I run into differences of opinions or ignorance and I find the ignorant people are the ones who really drive me nuts.
      haha.
      Get it.. nuts.
      Peanut Allergies and the ignorant.
      Whatever.

  12. Jessica
    March 14, 2012 | 2:43 pm

    I think after attending a blogging conference you learn more about the dark side of blogging.

    • Jennifer
      March 15, 2012 | 4:35 pm

      That makes me fearful of blog conferences! Said as I hide behind my teeny blog 😉

      • multitaskingmumma
        March 16, 2012 | 7:58 am

        I think after reading Jessica’s response to Blissdom I will go to a conference with goals in mind now.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:12 pm

      I think in one of your most recent posts you mentioned going with a goal to meet the people you love and want to engage with.. I think that’s a great idea.

  13. Amber
    March 14, 2012 | 4:33 pm

    You’re blowing my mind man. Blowing my mind. 😉 I remember when I left blogging when Rebecca was born. It was a completely different world then the one I came back to. I’m sure all these things existed back then also but wow it wasn’t like it is now.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 9:00 pm

      I think it’s because blogging is so main stream now!
      But if you do it well people will notice! xo

  14. Kimberly
    March 14, 2012 | 5:02 pm

    All things that I wish I knew before I started my blog. But, you live and learn. Lessons were taught along the way and I’m grateful for that.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:57 pm

      Even if you did know them would you have listened?
      Probably not.
      People have to experience things for themselves… it’s a normal process.

  15. Kimberly
    March 14, 2012 | 5:19 pm

    The cliques suck. I worked so hard once to get into one…don’t know why because they were not as awesome as I am…clearly.
    Psha.
    And people really don’t understand how much time we devote to our spaces on the web. We need to get paid for it damn it.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:56 pm

      Umm.. You don’t need a clique.
      People flock to you just because they want to see how bat shit crazy you’ve gone that day.
      Me included.
      It makes me feel normal.

  16. katery
    March 14, 2012 | 6:50 pm

    lol, i wish i got paid for blogging! i just do it for me and i ended up making some great friends in the process!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:51 pm

      wouldn’t it be great if we got a steady paycheque for doing what we love?
      Writing and chatting on the internet!!

  17. Ryan (The Woven Moments)
    March 14, 2012 | 8:23 pm

    It’s the competitive spirit that gets me. The “you can always tweet/post/facebook/comment MORE to get more readers” attitude is just exhausting. But the real shame is that I’m TOTALLY susceptible to it.

    I find that every few months, I have to take a step WAY back and re-evaluate. Things like Triberr and even Klout sounded like such great ideas but turned out to be bad, bad experiences for me.

    Thanks for linking up! 🙂

  18. ChiMomWriter @ It Builds Character
    March 14, 2012 | 9:08 pm

    All of this – so true! But like anything else, I’ve found that the sour only helps me appreciate the sweet. It can be daunting and frustrating, but all of the gorgeous out there makes it so worthwhile. (Whew – and that came from a pessimist!)

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:51 pm

      I couldn’t agree with you more.
      I get much more positive out of blogging than I do negative.

  19. Alexandra
    March 14, 2012 | 10:25 pm

    The sad truest of these is number 4.

    No one really cares about your blog except you In the real world.

    That’s why I felt SO HAPPY when in the first 5 mins of BlogHer in San Diego, while I checked in, I heard people around me say “my site meter” ‘My load time” “bloggess’ last post.”

    MY PEOPLE! MY MOTHERSHIP!

    I grinned like an idiot.

    It was aweSOME.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:25 am

      Oh that sounds wonderful!
      People to talk to about blogging in real life!!
      I have no idea what that’s like.
      Sigh.

  20. Alexandra
    March 14, 2012 | 10:29 pm

    BlogHer was great.

    I can’t tell you, LeighAnn…if you ever got to go to a conference…it’s wonderful.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:24 am

      Thank you Alexandra.
      I’m not sure when I’ll get the opportunity but I would really love to go.

  21. Galit Breen
    March 15, 2012 | 6:09 am

    Sadly, these are all true.

    (Did it feel good to just them out there? Sometimes I feel better just “saying” things out LOUD.)

    That #4? Yes, that.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:23 am

      I was pretty sure everyone was aware of them but I wanted new bloggers to know what they were getting into and not get sucked into it.

  22. Lindsay
    March 15, 2012 | 7:23 am

    Well done. Also, whose arse should I kick for you?

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:19 am

      Oh I have a list.
      And?
      are you a ninja.

  23. Robin |Farewell Stranger
    March 15, 2012 | 1:42 pm

    All so true. But… you got kicked out of a clique?! Stupid people. You rock.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:18 am

      I truly didn’t even know I was in one until I was booted out.
      But that didn’t make it any better.
      It happened this week on training too, in real life. But because I speak out and tell people my thoughts on what they’re gossiping about I’m not generally the type of person welcome in cliques.

  24. Julie
    March 15, 2012 | 1:44 pm

    This is where being completely oblivious comes in real handy. 🙂

    It’s incredibly freeing to just say “frick it” and do what you want, when you want.

    I hope you don’t carry any residual negativity about the dark side. Although I rather enjoy the trolls. They can be entertaining, what with their complete lack of anything remotely resembling a life.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:17 am

      The only thing that has gotten to me is ignorance and totaly lack of concern for other human beings.
      That makes me swirl with anger.
      But I put it back into my writing.
      It’s all I can do.

      Love you my friend! xo

  25. Leigh Ann
    March 15, 2012 | 1:51 pm

    You rock, lady. Worrying too much about all of these things will only make for a more anxious and unauthentic blogger!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:07 am

      Thank you! You had a big hand in how I see blogging and quality vs quantity.
      xoxoxo

  26. merelymothers
    March 15, 2012 | 1:58 pm

    Great list! You’re so right about the time commitment. Even today, the goal was to write one blog piece, but i’ve been on for 2 hours and the piece is half written but i’m social networking! LOL! We are in this link up too! We wrote about how the blogging community is changing the world of mothering!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:03 am

      I was doing the same thing last night! I was supposed to be writing but instead I was pinning.

  27. Lady Estrogen
    March 15, 2012 | 3:32 pm

    Wait.. you got into a clique? Like, oh my god, for real?! So jealz. hehe.

    I agree with everything you’ve said.

    And for some of the bigger ones (I’ll be passive-aggressive and leave out direct references) can post up any old shit and the get 300 comments all saying how amazing they are. BARF. There’s so many bloggers writing MUCH better stuff that are WAY WAY under valued as credible writers. Ahem.

    • Jennifer
      March 15, 2012 | 4:36 pm

      I agree! Why blog if you are just going to post crapola? It cheapens you and your blog.

    • Mrs. Jen B
      March 15, 2012 | 6:55 pm

      It’s clear that in so many cases, the comments are from people who didn’t even read the post, they just scrolled madly down to the bottom of the page so their comment could be first or as close to the top as possible. :-\

      • multitaskingmumma
        March 16, 2012 | 7:56 am

        I soooo agree with this! they just pick out words from other people’s comments or from the post and paste on a generic comment! Annoying!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 8:03 am

      Doodle?
      The clique I “stumbled” into I didn’t even know about until I was booted out.
      I’m oblivious to cliques and groups until the very end.. when they realize I speak my mind and that’s not allowed.
      No individual thought is permitted.

      Like, OMG, whatever.
      I agree with you 100% about bloggers who post poor content yet they receive over 200 comments BUT the smaller blogger who is an amazing writer is only pulling in 50 comments.
      And Ahem to you too!

  28. Jennifer
    March 15, 2012 | 4:41 pm

    So many good points, Leighann! I agree.

    I would be in your clique any day. (As long as all cool chicks are invited, too.)

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 7:58 am

      My clique is called “everyone can come in, especially those people who pee when they get nervous.”

      • Lady Estrogen
        March 16, 2012 | 8:19 am

        Sounds fabulous.
        I don’t pee though, I just fart.
        I hope that’s still acceptable.

  29. Mrs. Jen B
    March 15, 2012 | 6:53 pm

    I think we should form our own clique. Is that how cliques are formed, you just decide to make one? I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been cool enough.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 16, 2012 | 7:57 am

      I don’t know how they’re formed.. I think the bitchy snot usually starts it and then I get excluded because I don’t want to go for lunch and gossip about everyone I’d rather have a coffee and blog LOL

  30. Andrea
    March 16, 2012 | 10:20 am

    This was so well written. It stinks, but so much of it can be true. Thing is, so much of the time it is, and there is also so much of the time (for so many of us) that it is not.

    You were thrown out and cast aside? That makes me laugh. Not at your experience, but how people even CONSIDER doing that.

    I went to one conference so far, TypeAParent, and I know that there were people there who had no idea who I was, nor I them, but for the most part I felt welcomed, etc. I also know there were people there only trying to connect w/the bigger bloggers. So to them I was non-existent. And that, my friend, is mostly OK. It might make me feel sh!tty for a few seconds, but I don’t need that BS anyway. I need to blog for me. And to meet peeps like you. 😉 xox

  31. hollow tree ventures
    March 16, 2012 | 2:04 pm

    Oh, these are so true – the people who only want a “follow back,” the relative low probability of become One of the Big Ones, the low (okay, lack of) pay… And the TIME it takes! But it’s sooo worth it, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?? (Of course!) 🙂

  32. By Word of Mouth Musings
    March 16, 2012 | 7:57 pm

    Oh, yes this.
    All of this.
    I do not understand the numbers at all, and seo ha, and wordpress hates me with a passion.
    So I have headed to conferences to put real faces to the words that I love and that has been the best thing for me … yes, a little old school for sure.
    I have never been in a clique nor invited to one, I have certainly felt excluded and was scolded horribly by two bloggers after a meme (and everyone thinks they are so adorable)
    But I write because it brings me joy, I have no advertising and have not looked to make money from my blog – just friendship.
    So be honest, be true and be friendly, I think you do a great job 🙂

  33. Jack@TheJackB
    March 17, 2012 | 8:01 pm

    Dad Bloggers have all the street cred and half the drama.

    Don’t ask me to say any more than that because unless you know the super secret blogger handshake I won’t.

    Ok, I might but I might not.

    I will say that my clique has the coolest password, it is “swordfish.” Damn, they might kick me out now.

    One of these days I might write a serious post about how ego has destroyed many a blogger, or maybe not.

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