I always knew I would be a mother.
After working with high risk youth and running a crisis home I knew I would be a great mom.
I was confident in my plans to parent by enforcing rules, being consistent, and effectively listening.
My love was going to be fierce, I would go to mommy groups, and bake treats during my spare time.
Being a good mother was the one thing I knew I could do.
But becoming a mother wasn’t as seamless of a process as it was supposed to be.
There were days that being consistent, following a routine, and effectively listening seemed laughable compared to the thoughts that were running through my head.
I prayed for God to make me a good mom.
To take the grey cloud that loomed over my heart and my life away so that I could fulfill my role.
The one I believed I could do so well.
Two years ago I brought the most beautiful child into the world.
Two years ago I saw myself in someone else.
Two years ago I began the fight to become the mom I knew I could be.
The mom I am.
You have brought me so much joy.
You have helped me learn more about myself than I could have ever imagined.
You are the bright light in my cloudy days.
And you make me be the mom I always thought I could be.
I love you more than you will ever know.
And I fight for you!