Is everything okay? You aren’t as happy as you usually are?
Yes. I’m just feeling a little tired this week, thanks for asking.
Oh. Well, just remember, even though I know about your situation other’s here at the office don’t so to them it looks like you’re being snotty, or rude. Try to be happier okay?
The dishes were pilled all over the counter when I walked through the door. I had been driving for over an hour and a half from work, to daycare, to home and was exhausted.
The last thing I wanted to do was clean up.
Brian hadn’t left me a note to tell me where he’d gone, no thank you for the dinner I had prepared prior to leaving for work, and no regard for how clean the kitchen was the night previous.
Frustration and defeat welled inside of me.
He smiled and picked up our daughter happy to be home after shopping for a new lawnmower part.
My irritation grew and I could feel my face morph into angry eye brows and slanted eyes as I bit down on my tongue.
Setting our daughter down he touched my arm, asking how my day was, setting off a slew of demands to clean up, finger pointing accusations about who does more, and shouts of comparison.
Knowing me better than anyone in the whole world he asked me what happened at work.
After cleaning the kitchen in silence, mostly due to embarrassment over my actions, I met my family outside.
Their playful giggles met my downcast eyes with acceptance.
No need to hide who you are here.
They know that I have days where I struggle and they accept me for who I am. They aren’t the ones that I’m angry with and I shouldn’t take out my frustrations on them.
But even if I do once in awhile, because I can’t take express my self at work, they will open their arms and love me anyway.