WTF Wednesday – Rules of the Road

I have a long distance to drive for work.

From the country to the city.

So while some people sit in traffic for hours I drive.

I have written about my frustrations with the way people drive on Ontario’s busiest highway before but because I’m on this road EVERY. SINGLE. DAY it’s one of my biggest irritations.

This highway? It’s not new.

There are signs every ten feet instructing SLOWER cars to move to the right and it’s taught in driving school.

WTF?

So because I understand that some people are visual learners I’ve drawn diagrams outlining what is appropriate and what is not on the 401 (or any highway). This will be helpful to any driver so feel free to print off and take along with you.

Cutting in Line

If there is a line of traffic attempting to pass another car don’t be the douche that no one likes and try to cut in further up the line.

You’re a jerk.

You drive a jerky car.

Everyone is giving you a dirty look and hopes that you don’t get in.

Stop it!

Slow Drivers

Slow driver in the fast lane… MOVE OVER! You are slow! There are signs that say MOVE OVER! Why can’t you read them? If you can’t read then you shouldn’t be driving. This is dangerous.

You are holding up traffic, causing traffic jams, and making people angry. You are the reason for the jerky drivers above.

Just pull over, you’ll get there faster.

Swerver

Swervy McSwerver behind me?

Where would you like me to go?

We’re in a line of traffic. I’m in the same predicament as you.

Swinging your car around behind me is only going to get 911 called on you because how do I know you aren’t having a heart attack?

Or trying to get to the hospital?

Because your wife is having a baby and you want to be there to support her and hold her hand. You are worried that you will miss the birth of your first child and you will never get that moment back.

You have her bag in your car and she needs her soothing music and her item to focus on.

Good thing I took down your license plate number.

Because clearly you need an escort.

WTF?

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17 Responses to WTF Wednesday – Rules of the Road
  1. Mark
    July 18, 2012 | 6:01 am

    I make it my goal in life to never let the “Cutting in Line” dude get in. Fred gets upset with me that I don’t move to allow someone in but I don’t and that’s the way it will always be. Assholes!
    m.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:19 pm

      I will pace myself with the person trying to get in so that no matter what they do they will never go faster or slower than me.
      It’s hilarious.
      For me.

  2. lindsay
    July 18, 2012 | 7:43 am

    I’m with Mark. I will go as fast as possible to keep the Asshole from getting ahead of me hahaha

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:18 pm

      YAY! We are kindred spirits

  3. Lady Estrogen
    July 18, 2012 | 8:51 am

    I’m sooooooooooo soooooooooo glad I only have to drive into Toronto once or twice a month because people are farking nuts on the highway! Swervy McSwerver is the worst – and scariest, for sure.

    I also cannot STAND when I’m trying to merge on (at the proper speed, mind you) and no one will let me in and then I have to slam on my breaks or drive in the ditch because there’s no more road left! GAH. I have to say, that’s the one thing the UK drivers were AWESOME at – everyone moves over to cars merging from an on ramp. Always! It was a weird courtesy to get used to.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:17 pm

      YES! The drivers who pretend they don’t see you and won’t move over so that you can get in!
      SO RUDE!
      Especially the big trucks who don’t move!
      GAH! I’m so angry all over again.

  4. Alison
    July 18, 2012 | 9:33 am

    I’m an angry driver because this place I live in is FULL of assholes.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:13 pm

      Really?
      Is there a lot of highways or is it more like city driving?

  5. Natalie @MamaTrack
    July 18, 2012 | 10:20 am

    Totally applicable to the DC Beltway as well. This is awesome!

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:13 pm

      Thanks Natalie!
      I think it could be applied mostly anywhere… some people are just bad drivers.

  6. Lucy Ball
    July 18, 2012 | 11:29 am

    Whoa! Your diagrams are killer! And hilarious! And true! Dear Asshole Drivers: Stay the hell home, wherever that is. K?

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:12 pm

      THANKS! I worked hard on them!
      I want to pass them out at the mall.

  7. Kimberly
    July 18, 2012 | 12:26 pm

    I hate the line cutter.
    I make it a point to ride the person’s bumper in front of me just so I don’t have to let the “cutter” in.
    Jerks

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:09 pm

      I love driving behind ppl like you. It’s like we unite to keep the cutter out.

  8. Jessica
    July 19, 2012 | 3:49 pm

    maybe you should print this up and plaster it all along the highway for people to look at.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 20, 2012 | 9:08 pm

      I almost ran for the printer when I read this but had to remind myself that this was probably illegal.
      SUCH a great idea.

  9. Rach (DonutsMama)
    July 20, 2012 | 9:43 pm

    I SO don’t miss those days when I used to commute. I’ve run into every single one of those drivers. Jerks.

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