The Dance

Eyes like mine stared back at me as the sharp words cut through the air between us.

We knew this dance by heart and over 31 years had perfected the steps and turns; glides and twirls that it took to sway lightly or kick dangerously to the beat.

Our music was familiar: loud, banging voices; harsh tones; interruptions. No room for explanations or empathy, just accusations and blame. Shoulda, coulda, why didn’t you’s!

And it was soft and sweet, loving and kind, comfort and honesty, I love you’s and are you okay’s.

In perfect symmetry our movements matched and the crowd parted, giving us the room we needed, as they’d done for so many years.

Ending our dance before it was over I wrapped my hands around his neck and told him it would be okay.

He didn’t need to be nervous or anxious. He didn’t have to be sad.

I was still here.

He said he was fine.

But I could tell by looking in his eyes, the ones that are the same as mine; that he wasn’t.

I held his hand and squeezed, because what else do you say to a father as he prepares to give his daughter away?

As he prepares to give up a piece of his heart?

Nothing.

You just sway to the song you’ve always known and hope he knows you’ll always be there to dance.

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10 Responses to The Dance
  1. Amber
    September 4, 2012 | 4:55 pm

    As I first started reading this I wasn’t really sure where it was going. In the end I found myself a little jealous because there is so much space between my father and me. We have never been close. I swear he pushed me now the aisle on my wedding day. He didn’t even give me a kiss on the cheek. This was a beautiful post written from a loving daughter to her Dad. Beautiful.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:37 am

      thank you my sweet friend. I’m lucky to have the dad I do

  2. Lady Estrogen
    September 4, 2012 | 7:48 pm

    Awe, lovely.

    Although my adopted father loves me a lot, we haven’t really been close since the day I started wearing a training bra. I also thought about how amazing it would have been for my biological father to see me on my wedding day, but those aren’t the cards I was dealt.

    Now I’m crying again. DAMMIT.

    xx

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:36 am

      xoxoxo. I love your honesty. Thank you

  3. Alison
    September 4, 2012 | 9:47 pm

    Love this beautiful post, Leighann.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:35 am

      That means a lot Alison, thank you

  4. Farrah
    September 5, 2012 | 8:40 am

    I’m so happy for you- in that you get to share this moment with your father. You are going to have a lovely wedding day!

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:34 am

      I’m really looking forward to dancing with him

  5. Coffee Lovin' Mom
    September 5, 2012 | 6:30 pm

    Tears and smiles, you captured it perfect

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:34 am

      Thank you SO much. I don’t think many people understood what I was trying to say.

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The Dance

Eyes like mine stared back at me as the sharp words cut through the air between us.

We knew this dance by heart and over 31 years had perfected the steps and turns; glides and twirls that it took to sway lightly or kick dangerously to the beat.

Our music was familiar: loud, banging voices; harsh tones; interruptions. No room for explanations or empathy, just accusations and blame. Shoulda, coulda, why didn’t you’s!

And it was soft and sweet, loving and kind, comfort and honesty, I love you’s and are you okay’s.

In perfect symmetry our movements matched and the crowd parted, giving us the room we needed, as they’d done for so many years.

Ending our dance before it was over I wrapped my hands around his neck and told him it would be okay.

He didn’t need to be nervous or anxious. He didn’t have to be sad.

I was still here.

He said he was fine.

But I could tell by looking in his eyes, the ones that are the same as mine; that he wasn’t.

I held his hand and squeezed, because what else do you say to a father as he prepares to give his daughter away?

As he prepares to give up a piece of his heart?

Nothing.

You just sway to the song you’ve always known and hope he knows you’ll always be there to dance.

Thank you for SharingTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on FacebookEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

Related Posts:

10 Responses to The Dance
  1. Amber
    September 4, 2012 | 4:55 pm

    As I first started reading this I wasn’t really sure where it was going. In the end I found myself a little jealous because there is so much space between my father and me. We have never been close. I swear he pushed me now the aisle on my wedding day. He didn’t even give me a kiss on the cheek. This was a beautiful post written from a loving daughter to her Dad. Beautiful.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:37 am

      thank you my sweet friend. I’m lucky to have the dad I do

  2. Lady Estrogen
    September 4, 2012 | 7:48 pm

    Awe, lovely.

    Although my adopted father loves me a lot, we haven’t really been close since the day I started wearing a training bra. I also thought about how amazing it would have been for my biological father to see me on my wedding day, but those aren’t the cards I was dealt.

    Now I’m crying again. DAMMIT.

    xx

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:36 am

      xoxoxo. I love your honesty. Thank you

  3. Alison
    September 4, 2012 | 9:47 pm

    Love this beautiful post, Leighann.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:35 am

      That means a lot Alison, thank you

  4. Farrah
    September 5, 2012 | 8:40 am

    I’m so happy for you- in that you get to share this moment with your father. You are going to have a lovely wedding day!

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:34 am

      I’m really looking forward to dancing with him

  5. Coffee Lovin' Mom
    September 5, 2012 | 6:30 pm

    Tears and smiles, you captured it perfect

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 9, 2012 | 8:34 am

      Thank you SO much. I don’t think many people understood what I was trying to say.

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