The Crazy Girl Next Door

My neighbours are moving.

Not just one of them, several.

I think it’s my fault.

Rationally I know it’s not because of me, but thoughts like these are the kinds of things that plague someone with bipolar.

Especially when mania takes over.

The neighbours are moving because we didn’t fix our pool until late August and their kids couldn’t come and swim.

My loud, exuberant, and sometimes witchy voice, which can be heard by wolves and small dogs, became too much for their sweet family.

I didn’t talk to them enough, didn’t invite them over for tea, I didn’t like the dry bread cake she gave us for Christmas, I should have planted more flowers.

She read my blog.

When mental illness takes you on an emotional rollercoaster you didn’t wait in line for; it can be exhausting, confusing, and lonely.

How do you explain to family and friends the paranoia and feelings that make no sense, even to you?

Jokes about it ease the fear and confusion, but then you sink back into your thoughts where it’s still very real.

They didn’t want cows on their lawn.

Bipolar doesn’t let those affected relax and enjoy life fully. It twists reality into an ugly kaleidoscope, distorting what is real and what is anxiety.

Something as normal as all of the neighbours moving, whether it be due to financial strain, relationships changing, job change, or flipping houses can become disfigured in the mind of someone with bipolar.

They left because of the crazy girl next door.

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5 Responses to The Crazy Girl Next Door
  1. Alison
    November 7, 2012 | 5:30 am

    Sweetie, they didn’t move because of you. You know that.
    I’d move next to you if I can!
    I mean, pool, dude.
    Also, you’re awesome.

  2. Jenn@Fox in the City
    November 7, 2012 | 1:07 pm

    It most certainly wasn’t because of you . . . I would place bets it was due to the cows! Way too many cow patties to avoid!

    Who knows what their circumstances are. We had three sets of neighbours move out at the same time. Turns out that all three marriages were ending and they could not longer afford the houses.

    Whatever their reasons, it has nothing to do with you! I would love you as a neighbour!

  3. Pamela Gold
    November 7, 2012 | 2:03 pm

    I have severe paranoia at work. I think they’re staring at me all the time and can see me in their office on there PC monitor or while I’m in the bathroom. When I take a day off because of my freaking Bipolar symptoms I feel like they don’t care and think I should just get over it already. I hate it here.

  4. Kimberly
    November 8, 2012 | 1:13 pm

    You’re nuts.
    And I like nuts.
    Except when I poop.
    Those aren’t fun.
    Love you

  5. Kristen
    November 11, 2012 | 9:13 am

    IT’S THE DAMN TRAIN!!!!!! 🙂

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