I Won’t Shank You……Today.

“You’ve been awfully quiet lately Leighann, are you sure everything’s okay?”

Her concern was genuine and from the heart.

My co-worker is sweet.

But I don’t confide in co-workers.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

I plastered a fake smile across my face and tried to force the lines of exhaustion off of my face.

I might have scared her when I widened my eyes to combat the overwhelming feeling of fatigue.

Cranking out a toothy grin and crazy eyes is easier than the truth.

My psych is adjusting my meds because they lowered them when I was pregnant but I lost the baby and now I’m back to being bat shit crazy so we’re increasing them again cause I’m bipolar. No, no, don’t back up, I won’t shank you….well, I might, but not today, today I’m depressed.

*giggle awkwardly*

I can feel myself drifting into sadness and isolation.

And it becomes that much more real when someone else, who doesn’t know my situation, acknowledges it and they notice my anxiety, irritation, sadness, or lack of concentration.

Or they call me on it.

I’m working on getting back to where I was with the help of my supports and Dr.

On getting back to better.

And until then?

All of the questions about my behaviour?

Will be answered with crazy eyes! 


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5 Responses to I Won’t Shank You……Today.
  1. Greta
    November 21, 2012 | 10:50 am

    I hope you get back to where you need to be and those pesky coworkers leave you alone. I love your crazy eyes. 🙂

  2. Julie
    November 21, 2012 | 4:21 pm

    You’re looking a bit thin there, girly. If you need some help smacking coworkers, you let me know.

  3. Alison
    November 21, 2012 | 8:37 pm

    You’ll get back to where you need to be, my friend. xo

  4. Kerstin @ Auer Life
    November 21, 2012 | 8:43 pm

    Love the crazy eye pictures. That should be an official form of communication 😉
    All the best to you for getting back on track!

  5. Jenn@Fox in the City
    November 22, 2012 | 9:21 am

    Hugs hun. You can flash those crazy eyes at me anytime!

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