Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

When we began packing for the hospital, in anticipation if our daughters arrival, we had things like a birth plan, cord blood registration, music, a new outfit for our daughter (and me) to come home in, and people to call all organized.

It was a perfectly laid plan

That didn’t go at all the way it was supposed to.

I left my birth plan at the bottom of my bag, I ate popsicles instead of meditating, and my husband was wandering the halls talking to other expectant parents, finding the Morgue, making use of a private bathroom he found on another floor, and creating bat symbols with the doctors huge light.

Raising a child has been a lot like this.

Minus the private bathroom.

The baby books and articles readied us for breastfeeding, swaddling, late nights, and hearts full.

But we got a mouth that couldn’t latch, an esophagus that wasn’t formed, a whole year of projectile vomiting, and Post Partum Depression.

But wait!

It’s ok.

Everyone struggles… it’s expected that the road we map out doesn’t go as planned all the time, especially when there are children involved.

Right?

We were ready for the terrible twos and potty training, gaining independence, and growing pains.

But there are no books that can ease you into the hell that is three.

Two is a picnic compared to this glorious age and I’ve heard four is going to put me in the fetal position.

Thumb sucking, crying for my mom, and begging for mercy.

This is parenting and it’s every man for himself.

Throw away the books.

They can’t save you.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

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16 Responses to Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You
  1. Alison
    March 22, 2013 | 4:49 am

    Y’know, three is a better age for us than two. He turned a corner at his 3rd birthday, so I really can’t complain. Good luck to you! 🙂

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:13 am

      I felt that way about year one! Finally when we reached age two I breathed a sigh of relief and thought.. huh.. this isn’t so bad at all.
      I’m grateful that every child is different.
      And I’m so glad for you that your son has turned that corner!

  2. Imperfect Jessica
    March 22, 2013 | 7:18 am

    Dude – so right there w ya. I hate this stage and am NOT looking forward to anything worse. How can it get worse?

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:09 am

      I hear the teenager stages are bad.
      But I’m going to dig a hide out so I won’t know.

  3. Jenn@Fox in the City
    March 22, 2013 | 7:20 am

    I totally planned on having my daughter at the hospital . . . she came at home. That was the best example of how this whole parenting thing does not respect any plans it just is what it is!!

    Hold onto to hope because so far, five has been pretty awesome! The three year old makes me want to drink. 😉

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:08 am

      you had your daughter at home? How did I not know this?
      My daughter isn’t even three yet, but she likes to think she is.
      She’s going to be the child who, a month before her 13th birthday, is all “I”m a teenager now”
      GAH.

  4. Lady Estrogen
    March 22, 2013 | 7:23 am

    Heh. I have to say that even though TOTALLY every kid is different, 4 is okay so far for both of them & we’re 3 months into it (keeping fingers crossed). 3 blew chunks, for sure. Good times.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:07 am

      4 has been okay?
      I am holding you to that.
      I don’t care if every child is different, I want mine to be good.
      No.
      GREAT.
      No.
      Behaved.

  5. Marianna Annadanna
    March 22, 2013 | 7:50 am

    Being preggers for the first time, I know what you say is true, but I’m still optimistic. I’m also confident that Hubby and I can handle whatever this little brat throws at us! Hard times ahead? Sure. Still hopeful? You betcha.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:06 am

      I feel bad that you’ve read my ramblings and are growing a beautiful baby for the first time.
      Take my writing with a grain of salt.
      You have a miracle coming! The things that I write about? They are all worth it. EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.
      Because these babies and toddlers are ours.
      Congratulations!! I mean this. What a wonderful experience you’re about to have. xo

  6. Kimberly
    March 22, 2013 | 8:27 am

    All I have to say is that when he came out of my vagina everyone sighed in relief. We only have ONE penis to worry about than all of them.
    But now it is the battle against peeing in the toilet and on in or around. Eye rolls….picking up bad habits at school…and begging him not to sing Thrift Shop in public.
    No matter what age, stage etc the kid is in, we learn and adapt. Books don’t prepare you for anything. And when things don’t go according to the book we are made to feel like failures.
    Ain’t nobody got time for that.
    Xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:03 am

      I fight this battle with my husband, not my child.
      Pee in the toilet, for the Love of urine!
      Please.

      I agree with you; no matter what stage, we adapt, cry, laugh hysterically, and cling to the hope that our child is normal.
      Well… mine isn’t but one day she might be.
      LOL

  7. Kimberly
    March 22, 2013 | 10:50 pm

    With my oldest son, 4 was much better. I’m hoping that holds true for my other kids since #2 will be 4 next week…

  8. Charity
    March 23, 2013 | 12:58 pm

    Three and four were challenging with our older girls. Five and six have rocked with our oldest. Five can kiss my butt with the middle one. The youngest has just been easy. I vote that can continue.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 24, 2013 | 9:51 am

      I can’t imagine being at 5 or 6 yet.. yikes.

  9. Rach (DonutsMama)
    March 25, 2013 | 4:09 pm

    I hate those stupid arrogant books and their false promises!! They’re all LIARS! (Sorry, I’m a little too passionate about this issue.)

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Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

When we began packing for the hospital, in anticipation if our daughters arrival, we had things like a birth plan, cord blood registration, music, a new outfit for our daughter (and me) to come home in, and people to call all organized.

It was a perfectly laid plan

That didn’t go at all the way it was supposed to.

I left my birth plan at the bottom of my bag, I ate popsicles instead of meditating, and my husband was wandering the halls talking to other expectant parents, finding the Morgue, making use of a private bathroom he found on another floor, and creating bat symbols with the doctors huge light.

Raising a child has been a lot like this.

Minus the private bathroom.

The baby books and articles readied us for breastfeeding, swaddling, late nights, and hearts full.

But we got a mouth that couldn’t latch, an esophagus that wasn’t formed, a whole year of projectile vomiting, and Post Partum Depression.

But wait!

It’s ok.

Everyone struggles… it’s expected that the road we map out doesn’t go as planned all the time, especially when there are children involved.

Right?

We were ready for the terrible twos and potty training, gaining independence, and growing pains.

But there are no books that can ease you into the hell that is three.

Two is a picnic compared to this glorious age and I’ve heard four is going to put me in the fetal position.

Thumb sucking, crying for my mom, and begging for mercy.

This is parenting and it’s every man for himself.

Throw away the books.

They can’t save you.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

Thank you for SharingTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on FacebookEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

Related Posts:

16 Responses to Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You
  1. Alison
    March 22, 2013 | 4:49 am

    Y’know, three is a better age for us than two. He turned a corner at his 3rd birthday, so I really can’t complain. Good luck to you! 🙂

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:13 am

      I felt that way about year one! Finally when we reached age two I breathed a sigh of relief and thought.. huh.. this isn’t so bad at all.
      I’m grateful that every child is different.
      And I’m so glad for you that your son has turned that corner!

  2. Imperfect Jessica
    March 22, 2013 | 7:18 am

    Dude – so right there w ya. I hate this stage and am NOT looking forward to anything worse. How can it get worse?

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:09 am

      I hear the teenager stages are bad.
      But I’m going to dig a hide out so I won’t know.

  3. Jenn@Fox in the City
    March 22, 2013 | 7:20 am

    I totally planned on having my daughter at the hospital . . . she came at home. That was the best example of how this whole parenting thing does not respect any plans it just is what it is!!

    Hold onto to hope because so far, five has been pretty awesome! The three year old makes me want to drink. 😉

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:08 am

      you had your daughter at home? How did I not know this?
      My daughter isn’t even three yet, but she likes to think she is.
      She’s going to be the child who, a month before her 13th birthday, is all “I”m a teenager now”
      GAH.

  4. Lady Estrogen
    March 22, 2013 | 7:23 am

    Heh. I have to say that even though TOTALLY every kid is different, 4 is okay so far for both of them & we’re 3 months into it (keeping fingers crossed). 3 blew chunks, for sure. Good times.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:07 am

      4 has been okay?
      I am holding you to that.
      I don’t care if every child is different, I want mine to be good.
      No.
      GREAT.
      No.
      Behaved.

  5. Marianna Annadanna
    March 22, 2013 | 7:50 am

    Being preggers for the first time, I know what you say is true, but I’m still optimistic. I’m also confident that Hubby and I can handle whatever this little brat throws at us! Hard times ahead? Sure. Still hopeful? You betcha.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:06 am

      I feel bad that you’ve read my ramblings and are growing a beautiful baby for the first time.
      Take my writing with a grain of salt.
      You have a miracle coming! The things that I write about? They are all worth it. EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.
      Because these babies and toddlers are ours.
      Congratulations!! I mean this. What a wonderful experience you’re about to have. xo

  6. Kimberly
    March 22, 2013 | 8:27 am

    All I have to say is that when he came out of my vagina everyone sighed in relief. We only have ONE penis to worry about than all of them.
    But now it is the battle against peeing in the toilet and on in or around. Eye rolls….picking up bad habits at school…and begging him not to sing Thrift Shop in public.
    No matter what age, stage etc the kid is in, we learn and adapt. Books don’t prepare you for anything. And when things don’t go according to the book we are made to feel like failures.
    Ain’t nobody got time for that.
    Xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 22, 2013 | 11:03 am

      I fight this battle with my husband, not my child.
      Pee in the toilet, for the Love of urine!
      Please.

      I agree with you; no matter what stage, we adapt, cry, laugh hysterically, and cling to the hope that our child is normal.
      Well… mine isn’t but one day she might be.
      LOL

  7. Kimberly
    March 22, 2013 | 10:50 pm

    With my oldest son, 4 was much better. I’m hoping that holds true for my other kids since #2 will be 4 next week…

  8. Charity
    March 23, 2013 | 12:58 pm

    Three and four were challenging with our older girls. Five and six have rocked with our oldest. Five can kiss my butt with the middle one. The youngest has just been easy. I vote that can continue.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 24, 2013 | 9:51 am

      I can’t imagine being at 5 or 6 yet.. yikes.

  9. Rach (DonutsMama)
    March 25, 2013 | 4:09 pm

    I hate those stupid arrogant books and their false promises!! They’re all LIARS! (Sorry, I’m a little too passionate about this issue.)

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