Speak Up & Speak Out when Commenting

Sometimes I read blog posts I don’t agree with.

It’s true.

On those days I don’t comment. I leave and come back another day – or if I’m really insulted I leave all together.

Because I have always been afraid of being labelled a “troll.”

But since reading a few blogs that have triggered serious PPD memories, and not agreeing with their wording or presentation (and not leaving comments) I found that NOT commenting made me feel worse.

I haven’t been practicing what I preach.

I haven’t been speaking out.

When a topic really scratches at the surface of who you are and everything you believe in, and the comments on the post are all one sided, it can make it intimidating to leave your words to the author, especially if they are the exact opposite of the majority.

And then bullying occurs as a result.

That’s not okay.

We are writers. We write what we feel, think, and believe. But we have to know that what we believe, think, or feel is not the same as everyone else.

When we put our words out there we have to be okay with negative or opposite reactions.

We have to learn from them.

I love to read full content that questions the readers’ intentions. I love to read about the author and hear their story.

But how do we do that if we are always stifling our real feelings when we comment or discouraging truthful commenting?

Speak up and speak out friends.

Debate the topics you are reading, question the author if you think they haven’t researched, or applaud and encourage if you believe in what you are reading.

THAT is what learning is all about!

And as a writer you should want your readers engaged and soaking in your words, not skimming and passive when the topics are raw and sensitive.

That is why we write.

To leave imprints on people.

We can do that even through our comments.

Through encouraging dialogue.

And speaking up and out.

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16 Responses to Speak Up & Speak Out when Commenting
  1. Alison
    May 12, 2013 | 9:28 pm

    To an extent, I agree with you. That we should comment without feeling like we will be labeled as trolls – but in part, that is up to us. It is up to us to comment respectfully, even when we disagree.

    However, I do think that sometimes, it’s better to NOT comment. When I read something that repels and disgusts me, something I vehemently disagree with, I know that I will say something that others will label as being on my high horse. And I’ll go back and try to defend myself. Then it just gets ugly.

    So yes, sometimes I don’t comment because that is better for me, for the blogger, and their readers. It really depends on the topic.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:41 pm

      I do not EVER condone disrespectful commenting. I only believe respectful and thoughtful commenting is appropriate. That being said; I do not think squishing people’s thoughts because they are against the grain or not the way the comment stream is going is fair. You should be able to leave your words. πŸ™‚

  2. Farrah
    May 13, 2013 | 7:16 am

    Gah! All I do is ask questions πŸ™‚

    A while back I read a really flippant post about bed rest. It made me really angry- said ‘simply applying this $30 lip gloss would brighten my day”. Um no. I was on anxiety and anti depressants and scared out of my mind at week 11 in and out of the hospital . I went off- but I chose to never return and hear their side. For that I’m kind of disappointed in myself.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:39 pm

      I’m so glad you ask questions! There are so many times I have looked back and wished I’d said something.

  3. Kimberly
    May 13, 2013 | 9:40 am

    This is how we learn. Freedom of speech. Respectful speech.
    What I don’t agree with is people who feel the need to moderate the comments even though they are not the blog owners. Like for real.
    And I do not agree with people siding with the blogger just because they are “popular” or don’t want to ruffle feathers.
    Meh.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:42 pm

      The moderator should be the writer.
      That is who understands the words the most.
      Am I wrong?

  4. Susan
    May 13, 2013 | 9:47 am

    Blogging is about conversation. So I think it’s important for that conversation to be vulnerable and honest. If you feel compelled to disagree with something, I’d like to think that the author would want to hear your point of view. At least, I would want to hear it. That’s the only way we learn from each other, isn’t it?

    That being said, (and of course I know you wouldn’t do it any other way) comments should always be respectful, and should be written the same way we would want someone to comment on a post we’ve written. And vehement disagreement generally belongs in a private email, I think.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:43 pm

      You are so very right.
      Respectful comments!! Always!!
      And if the writer really got under someones skin, then yes, an email!

  5. Marta
    May 14, 2013 | 10:52 am

    I agree that you should comment when you feel like you have something you need to say/share. I would consider emailing the writer directly versus commenting on the post if you feel like the comment could start controversy and you don’t want to be bullied/victim to that on the public thread. Your opinion has a right to be heard, but it can just be a dialogue between you and the writer.

  6. Rach (DonutsMama)
    May 14, 2013 | 9:44 pm

    I have a hard time commenting too when I feel like I’m in the minority. Or I guess even when I’m with the majority in a sensitive topic. Too often I just click away, so I’m not “political” or whatever. I don’t know why. I want to stand up, but it’s so hard sometimes.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 16, 2013 | 7:38 pm

      it is very hard, I agree. sometimes it’s just easier to click away and maybe discuss with someone you trust.

  7. JessieLeigh
    May 29, 2013 | 1:34 pm

    I am sometimes hesitant to engage in comments that voice disagreement simply because it is so very hard to convey tone and intent on the internet. While I might confidently engage a friend or acquaintance in real life in an intelligent debate or discussion, the screen makes that difficult. Some, like me, are afraid to offend when no offense is intended; others feel a false sense of bravery and speak in much crueler terms than they would likely ever use to someone’s face. It’s a really complicated dynamic! (Good stuff to think about here!)

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 30, 2013 | 5:44 pm

      I can understand this. Many interpret our words how we didn’t mean them. Great comment!!

  8. Michael Lombardi
    May 29, 2013 | 8:13 pm

    I have no problem vehemently disagreeing with something that I think is dangerous. For example, on BlogHer I have recently railed against a person who was trying to sell her book and didn’t site any sources in her post and I’ve also made comments on the science behind organic farming and GMOs vs conventional agriculutre.

    But I’m not popular, so if you’re want to be part of the crowd you either need to publicly agree with stuff you don’t agree with or you need to leave no comment.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 30, 2013 | 5:42 pm

      I’m not that popular either, Michael. I also think that it’s okay to give your opinion when someone hasn’t gotten their facts right. Respectfully of course, but in a public forum.

      • Michael Lombardi
        June 3, 2013 | 12:27 pm

        Not popular, huh? Well our ideas of popularity are a bit different then.

        I agree that respectfully disagreeing is fine, as long as you can handle the backlash–which I’m fine with.

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Speak Up & Speak Out when Commenting

Sometimes I read blog posts I don’t agree with.

It’s true.

On those days I don’t comment. I leave and come back another day – or if I’m really insulted I leave all together.

Because I have always been afraid of being labelled a “troll.”

But since reading a few blogs that have triggered serious PPD memories, and not agreeing with their wording or presentation (and not leaving comments) I found that NOT commenting made me feel worse.

I haven’t been practicing what I preach.

I haven’t been speaking out.

When a topic really scratches at the surface of who you are and everything you believe in, and the comments on the post are all one sided, it can make it intimidating to leave your words to the author, especially if they are the exact opposite of the majority.

And then bullying occurs as a result.

That’s not okay.

We are writers. We write what we feel, think, and believe. But we have to know that what we believe, think, or feel is not the same as everyone else.

When we put our words out there we have to be okay with negative or opposite reactions.

We have to learn from them.

I love to read full content that questions the readers’ intentions. I love to read about the author and hear their story.

But how do we do that if we are always stifling our real feelings when we comment or discouraging truthful commenting?

Speak up and speak out friends.

Debate the topics you are reading, question the author if you think they haven’t researched, or applaud and encourage if you believe in what you are reading.

THAT is what learning is all about!

And as a writer you should want your readers engaged and soaking in your words, not skimming and passive when the topics are raw and sensitive.

That is why we write.

To leave imprints on people.

We can do that even through our comments.

Through encouraging dialogue.

And speaking up and out.

Thank you for SharingTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on FacebookEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

Related Posts:

16 Responses to Speak Up & Speak Out when Commenting
  1. Alison
    May 12, 2013 | 9:28 pm

    To an extent, I agree with you. That we should comment without feeling like we will be labeled as trolls – but in part, that is up to us. It is up to us to comment respectfully, even when we disagree.

    However, I do think that sometimes, it’s better to NOT comment. When I read something that repels and disgusts me, something I vehemently disagree with, I know that I will say something that others will label as being on my high horse. And I’ll go back and try to defend myself. Then it just gets ugly.

    So yes, sometimes I don’t comment because that is better for me, for the blogger, and their readers. It really depends on the topic.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:41 pm

      I do not EVER condone disrespectful commenting. I only believe respectful and thoughtful commenting is appropriate. That being said; I do not think squishing people’s thoughts because they are against the grain or not the way the comment stream is going is fair. You should be able to leave your words. πŸ™‚

  2. Farrah
    May 13, 2013 | 7:16 am

    Gah! All I do is ask questions πŸ™‚

    A while back I read a really flippant post about bed rest. It made me really angry- said ‘simply applying this $30 lip gloss would brighten my day”. Um no. I was on anxiety and anti depressants and scared out of my mind at week 11 in and out of the hospital . I went off- but I chose to never return and hear their side. For that I’m kind of disappointed in myself.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:39 pm

      I’m so glad you ask questions! There are so many times I have looked back and wished I’d said something.

  3. Kimberly
    May 13, 2013 | 9:40 am

    This is how we learn. Freedom of speech. Respectful speech.
    What I don’t agree with is people who feel the need to moderate the comments even though they are not the blog owners. Like for real.
    And I do not agree with people siding with the blogger just because they are “popular” or don’t want to ruffle feathers.
    Meh.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:42 pm

      The moderator should be the writer.
      That is who understands the words the most.
      Am I wrong?

  4. Susan
    May 13, 2013 | 9:47 am

    Blogging is about conversation. So I think it’s important for that conversation to be vulnerable and honest. If you feel compelled to disagree with something, I’d like to think that the author would want to hear your point of view. At least, I would want to hear it. That’s the only way we learn from each other, isn’t it?

    That being said, (and of course I know you wouldn’t do it any other way) comments should always be respectful, and should be written the same way we would want someone to comment on a post we’ve written. And vehement disagreement generally belongs in a private email, I think.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 13, 2013 | 1:43 pm

      You are so very right.
      Respectful comments!! Always!!
      And if the writer really got under someones skin, then yes, an email!

  5. Marta
    May 14, 2013 | 10:52 am

    I agree that you should comment when you feel like you have something you need to say/share. I would consider emailing the writer directly versus commenting on the post if you feel like the comment could start controversy and you don’t want to be bullied/victim to that on the public thread. Your opinion has a right to be heard, but it can just be a dialogue between you and the writer.

  6. Rach (DonutsMama)
    May 14, 2013 | 9:44 pm

    I have a hard time commenting too when I feel like I’m in the minority. Or I guess even when I’m with the majority in a sensitive topic. Too often I just click away, so I’m not “political” or whatever. I don’t know why. I want to stand up, but it’s so hard sometimes.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 16, 2013 | 7:38 pm

      it is very hard, I agree. sometimes it’s just easier to click away and maybe discuss with someone you trust.

  7. JessieLeigh
    May 29, 2013 | 1:34 pm

    I am sometimes hesitant to engage in comments that voice disagreement simply because it is so very hard to convey tone and intent on the internet. While I might confidently engage a friend or acquaintance in real life in an intelligent debate or discussion, the screen makes that difficult. Some, like me, are afraid to offend when no offense is intended; others feel a false sense of bravery and speak in much crueler terms than they would likely ever use to someone’s face. It’s a really complicated dynamic! (Good stuff to think about here!)

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 30, 2013 | 5:44 pm

      I can understand this. Many interpret our words how we didn’t mean them. Great comment!!

  8. Michael Lombardi
    May 29, 2013 | 8:13 pm

    I have no problem vehemently disagreeing with something that I think is dangerous. For example, on BlogHer I have recently railed against a person who was trying to sell her book and didn’t site any sources in her post and I’ve also made comments on the science behind organic farming and GMOs vs conventional agriculutre.

    But I’m not popular, so if you’re want to be part of the crowd you either need to publicly agree with stuff you don’t agree with or you need to leave no comment.

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 30, 2013 | 5:42 pm

      I’m not that popular either, Michael. I also think that it’s okay to give your opinion when someone hasn’t gotten their facts right. Respectfully of course, but in a public forum.

      • Michael Lombardi
        June 3, 2013 | 12:27 pm

        Not popular, huh? Well our ideas of popularity are a bit different then.

        I agree that respectfully disagreeing is fine, as long as you can handle the backlash–which I’m fine with.

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