Birds chirp and the wind blows; the perfect blend of spring sounds and smells. The setting awkward for a therapists office.
Shouldn’t there be more bricks? Less pristine landscape?
Fewer kayaks floating down the perfect waters?
More books on wellness? Dark walls?
Large tissue boxes and inspirational posters?
When I started going to sessions my image was one of darkness. I was filled with self hate and laughed at the thought of talking to a stranger.
I know the tricks.
I know the open ended questions, the “how does that make you feel”, and the ‘how can you change that next time.”
I’m no stranger to active listening and counselling 101, thankyouverymuch.
But when I walked through the door and opened my mind I didn’t hear those lines.
I was given things to think about and to hold onto. My perspective was challenged and my idea of what could “never” change began to “maybe change.”
Over time the view I held for my life, and my future began to shift.
The meetings started to change from darkness to light.
From self hate to acceptance (and maybe even in time to love?).
The cold brick that represented who I was doesn’t belong here.
Dark coloured walls and sad photos do not inspire growth.
The calm of the water, soft sounds from the trees, and learning to accept peace; that is where I am supposed to be.
Challenging my path, and encouraging change.
As frightening as it might be.