Challenging My Path

Birds chirp and the wind blows; the perfect blend of spring sounds and smells. The setting awkward for a therapists office.

Shouldn’t there be more bricks? Less pristine landscape?

Fewer kayaks floating down the perfect waters?

More books on wellness? Dark walls?

Large tissue boxes and inspirational posters?

therapists space

When I started going to sessions my image was one of darkness. I was filled with self hate and laughed at the thought of talking to a stranger.

Ha ha.

I know the tricks.

I know the open ended questions, the “how does that make you feel”, and the ‘how can you change that next time.”

I’m no stranger to active listening and counselling 101, thankyouverymuch.

But when I walked through the door and opened my mind I didn’t hear those lines.

I was given things to think about and to hold onto. My perspective was challenged and my idea of  what could “never” change began to “maybe change.”

Over time the view I held for my life, and my future began to shift.

The meetings started to change from darkness to light.

From self hate to acceptance (and maybe even in time to love?).

The cold brick that represented who I was doesn’t belong here.

Dark coloured walls and sad photos do not inspire growth.

The calm of the water, soft sounds from the trees, and learning to accept peace; that is where I am supposed to be.

Challenging my path, and encouraging change.

As frightening as it might be.

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12 Responses to Challenging My Path
  1. Robin | Farewell, Stranger
    June 2, 2013 | 7:01 pm

    Good for you. Huge hugs.

  2. Carrie (akaLaverne)
    June 3, 2013 | 5:10 am

    You are amazing!!! I can not even fathom the strength it takes to first of all let someone in to help you, then accept their help, use their help and then open up such a hard and painful side of you and embrace who you are. You are amazing!!! Oh I said that already…well you are. And then you take it a step further and share it here, breaking down the stigmas or shhhhh don’t talk about its allowing others to see that who you are is beautiful and inspiring and not always easy (the mental illness not you) but you are a survivor and it can be lived with good and bad, a rich life can be lived. XOXXOXO

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 3, 2013 | 7:40 pm

      GAH! your comments always make me cry. Thank you so much for everything; for being the supportive person you are, and for always encouraging me.

  3. Jessica
    June 3, 2013 | 10:37 am

    Change can be very scary but I’m glad you are doing it.

    Hang in there and know that you have a lot of support.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 3, 2013 | 7:40 pm

      thank you so much Jessica. You are so right, change can be scary. But rewarding too.

  4. Kir
    June 3, 2013 | 11:27 am

    I have been reading every single thing you’ve been writing the past few weeks from the funny, to the personal, to the informative and every time I click off and say “she’s amazing!”

    you are bigger and better than your disease, you are more formidable for sure and as long as you know that, you keep your own fire burning your path is going to be full of light (even when it’s dark).

    I know that my own dark places have been consuming me too, but the therapy I’m in is helping me so much..and I trust those people (and you) with helping me get to the light.

    LOVE YOU. xo

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 3, 2013 | 7:39 pm

      this comment I will keep with me to read over and over Kir! I want you to know how incredibly special you are and how wonderful this comment is. thank you so much for you words. xoxooxoxoxoxoox

  5. Farrah
    June 4, 2013 | 3:52 am

    Go.You.

    !!

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 4, 2013 | 7:12 pm

      thank you so much Farrah!!! xoxoxoxox

  6. Kathy Morelli,LPC
    June 4, 2013 | 10:37 am

    Hi – This is wonderful. I love to hear about the client’s perspective of counseling, I do hope, as a licensed counselor, I bring more than Psych 101 to my clients. thanks! take care, Kathy

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 4, 2013 | 7:12 pm

      I would so love to hear your side too! what an interesting job you have.

  7. Kimberly
    June 7, 2013 | 8:55 am

    It’s so much easier to let the dark in than to let the light…actually to follow it and try to make the changes necessary to grab it.
    It’s an uphill battle, that’s for sure, but we are our own advocate. Doctors can only do so much on their end, we take care of the rest.
    Some people don’t come to that realization.
    Run my sweet bug. xxoo

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