Bipolar Roller Coaster

I catch myself staring off for the fourth time in an hour.

What was I thinking about?

Nothing? Everything?

It was only three days ago that the world felt happy and I had all the energy to do all the things.

Now it’s gone.


Because, bipolar.

There’s no real reason.

Mental illness doesn’t define the why’s or where’s or who’s it just slaps on a blindfold, throws you on a roller coaster without a seat belt and starts the ride.

The hills can be fun, full of high expectations and energy, love and laughter, squeals and fun mommy, sometimes taking a long time to get up.

But then the drops come fast and unexpectedly, crashing hard.

There’s no handle bars to hang onto so there’s a lot of grasping at air, crying, and screaming in the downward spiral.

And just when you think you’re ride has reached the pits of hell..

Up you go again

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18 Responses to Bipolar Roller Coaster
  1. Leigh Ann
    June 11, 2013 | 11:19 pm

    Big hugs, friend. I can’t imagine. But we’re here for you.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:55 pm

      Huge smooches to you my friend.

  2. Alison
    June 12, 2013 | 1:30 am

    That must be so tough, my friend. Hugs.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:54 pm

      thank you Alison xo

  3. Kir
    June 12, 2013 | 3:04 pm

    I haven’t been diagnosed with Bipolar, but I can tell you that hormonally, I feel this way often during the month..I know when I’m going to ovulate etc just by my mood.

    I too wish I could just take the energy and “CREATIVITY” of some days and give them back to myself on days where I just want to stay in bed.

    I’m not making less of the roller coaster you are on, I’m just telling you that I might not be in the front seat with you, but I’m on the ride too..and I’m sorry that you’re having the DOWN days..

    if you need me, please come find me. Okay?

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:54 pm

      Your comments are always straight from the heart Kir!! xoxoxoox thank you

  4. Kimberly
    June 12, 2013 | 7:08 pm

    Do you ever wish that there was a camera on one of those dips? Like at an amusement park? Cause we would look like horrified deers about to get whacked by a car…but on the up our faces say “I think we are dying but this is awesome!”
    I get this. I hate that I do and I hate it more that you do too.
    We’re in this together babe.
    Bros before herpes.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:54 pm

      could you imagine if they did that! And then a boob falls out?

  5. Charity
    June 12, 2013 | 7:14 pm

    Sorry for the down. Hang on for Mr Toads wild ride. Hugs.

  6. Nic
    June 12, 2013 | 7:31 pm

    Oh my dear friend I know how this ride is so hard on you! I’m here for the ride up and absolutely here when you crash! You are so much stronger than you will ever know! You are a warrior and I love you! Nic xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:53 pm

      thank you so much for saying that Nic. Love you xo

  7. Mama and the City
    June 13, 2013 | 12:04 am

    Aww. I sometimes think I am bipolar, but then I thought maybe it’s other people driving me that way.

    My mom was bipolar, but she had a combo of mental issues, it made it very hard on us – her kids.

    The fact you are aware of something happening to you is a great step. Do not loose track of it, work on it, get as much support with us bloggers or with specialists. You need to have a very close support circle.

    Lots of hugs.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:53 pm

      THAT is my biggest worry… will I make it hard on my daughter. God I hope not.

  8. Lyla Jackson
    June 13, 2013 | 4:19 pm

    I read somewhere that if someone tells you to “expect the unexpected” you should kick him in the balls and tell him it would have hurt less if he had “expected” that.

    I’m just holding out for that whole “bipolar creative genius” thing to kick in. Like those tickets that you get after a roller coaster. …what? you don’t get tickets for prizes after roller coasters? only after those stupid carnival games? you only get dizzy after a roller coaster? crap! roller coasters suck balls.

    Hugs and kisses.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 4:59 pm

      you are hilarious! I think I love you.

  9. Rach (DonutsMama)
    June 13, 2013 | 4:47 pm

    So sorry, friend. The mood changes are frustrating, esp when you feel like there isn’t a “rational” reason. It’s just how it is and that’s what you’re battling. I wish I could help pick up that armor and battle for you while you just rest for a while.

    • multitaskingmumma
      June 13, 2013 | 6:52 pm

      you’re right.. the mood changes are just what they are. thank you for wanting to shield me. xo

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