I catch myself staring off for the fourth time in an hour.
What was I thinking about?
It was only three days ago that the world felt happy and I had all the energy to do all the things.
Now it’s gone.
There’s no real reason.
Mental illness doesn’t define the why’s or where’s or who’s it just slaps on a blindfold, throws you on a roller coaster without a seat belt and starts the ride.
The hills can be fun, full of high expectations and energy, love and laughter, squeals and fun mommy, sometimes taking a long time to get up.
But then the drops come fast and unexpectedly, crashing hard.
There’s no handle bars to hang onto so there’s a lot of grasping at air, crying, and screaming in the downward spiral.
And just when you think you’re ride has reached the pits of hell..
Up you go again