It Will Be Worth It

It had been over a year of appointments with resident psychiatrists and finally I was meeting with the head psych.

No more being bounced around.

Maybe I had reached a new level of crazy.

My moods were unstable and I had been going from aggressive to depressed to suicidal within hours of each other.

Yes.

Suicidal.

It’s scary and freeing all at the same time.

This shits real.

Her office was nicer than any of the other ones I’d been in and had an air conditioner, which was nice since I’d chosen to straighten my hair.

Walking in I didn’t expect the room to be so big, or there to be a resident in there, but I shook hands politely, and sat in my designated space.

The crazy chair.

I spilled all of my emotions as soon as I sat, letting the weeks of pent up roller coaster rides drop onto the floor in front of me.

Fix me.

But her words were not what I expected.

Drugs will not fix this.

I says pardon.

She began to talk about my past, things to work on, problems that persist and nag and haunt me.

That is where we will begin.

I watched her pen make a sweeping motion, drawing a detailed plan, and graphing out my future path.

It will not be easy but it will be worth it.

Words I’ve been waiting over a year to hear.

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5 Responses to It Will Be Worth It
  1. Alison
    July 3, 2013 | 2:22 am

    I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. Hugs.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 4, 2013 | 9:09 am

      Thanks Alison.. me too.

  2. Charity
    July 3, 2013 | 7:35 pm

    That sounds great. I had that. It was wonderful.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 4, 2013 | 9:09 am

      I’m really looking forward to what the future holds

  3. Lyla Jackson
    July 4, 2013 | 10:17 am

    Shit has to get real before it can start to get better…
    Even though you are dipping low now, your life is like the stock market, it always trends upwards in the long term.

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It Will Be Worth It

It had been over a year of appointments with resident psychiatrists and finally I was meeting with the head psych.

No more being bounced around.

Maybe I had reached a new level of crazy.

My moods were unstable and I had been going from aggressive to depressed to suicidal within hours of each other.

Yes.

Suicidal.

It’s scary and freeing all at the same time.

This shits real.

Her office was nicer than any of the other ones I’d been in and had an air conditioner, which was nice since I’d chosen to straighten my hair.

Walking in I didn’t expect the room to be so big, or there to be a resident in there, but I shook hands politely, and sat in my designated space.

The crazy chair.

I spilled all of my emotions as soon as I sat, letting the weeks of pent up roller coaster rides drop onto the floor in front of me.

Fix me.

But her words were not what I expected.

Drugs will not fix this.

I says pardon.

She began to talk about my past, things to work on, problems that persist and nag and haunt me.

That is where we will begin.

I watched her pen make a sweeping motion, drawing a detailed plan, and graphing out my future path.

It will not be easy but it will be worth it.

Words I’ve been waiting over a year to hear.

Thank you for SharingTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on FacebookEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

Related Posts:

5 Responses to It Will Be Worth It
  1. Alison
    July 3, 2013 | 2:22 am

    I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. Hugs.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 4, 2013 | 9:09 am

      Thanks Alison.. me too.

  2. Charity
    July 3, 2013 | 7:35 pm

    That sounds great. I had that. It was wonderful.

    • multitaskingmumma
      July 4, 2013 | 9:09 am

      I’m really looking forward to what the future holds

  3. Lyla Jackson
    July 4, 2013 | 10:17 am

    Shit has to get real before it can start to get better…
    Even though you are dipping low now, your life is like the stock market, it always trends upwards in the long term.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://www.multitaskingmumma.com/2013/07/02/will-be-worth/trackback/