At a Crossroads

When I started this blog it was to connect with other mothers who were struggling with postpartum, then as my blog developed, it was to create awareness about mental health.

As I struggled with bipolar and my diagnosis I relied heavily on this space to write out my thoughts, discuss my feelings, and looked for support. I found a community of people who understood and cared what I was going through and held there hands out to pull me from the my darkness.

But as I settle in to a med cocktail that agrees with me, find happiness I haven’t had in a long time with my family, my friends, the outdoors, and myself, and feel comfortable even when I have difficult days and deal with secondary infertility, I find it harder and harder to dedicate time to this space.

I want to continue to advocate for mental health awareness, postpartum education, and share my experience but I also want to live in the now, in my happiness.

Sharing stories from my darkness is triggering and I’m afraid to go back there.

So that’s where I’m at, happy.

But struggling with writing that way.

I have always written from my darkness and now I am trying to connect with who I am in the light.

I’m at a crossroads.

Finding my new path, rediscovering a brighter me with my words in this space.

Or leaving behind my blog.

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7 Responses to At a Crossroads
  1. Rusti
    August 8, 2013 | 9:34 am

    I don’t have advice, just hugs. XO

  2. Carrie (akaLaverne)
    August 8, 2013 | 9:46 am

    You are just incredibly amazing!!! Your words are also important to you. Your words are beautiful and powerful and honest and genuine and moving. There is nothing wrong with change and as much as I don’t always like it I say being it. What is wrong with happiness. Having bipolar and your past doesn’t define you. It’s just a small piece of you. I say shout it!!! Stand on a mountain top and say look at me im happy i love my life i love the place im at!!! You will find your place. Your new voice. It will be what you want it to be. Maybe its differet blogging, maybe its less, maybe its none. No matter what it will be what you want. I just hope that your decission isnt because you are afraid to share where you are at now because you deserve it and its awesome! No matter what your past never owns you…it’s a piece of you and that piece of you that now allows you to offer help, words, virtual hugs, resources….as much or as little as you want to help someone else when the time is right and that is a very special quality to have. XOXXOXOX

  3. Lindsay
    August 8, 2013 | 10:05 am

    You will know what’s right for you. And if you need a blog-cation, whether for one week or one year, your fans and friends will still be here ready to support you through the good AND the bad. Maybe you start posting weekly, and it’s just about the FUN you are having with your fam… the craziness of the latest wedding party fiasco… or just random pictures showing us how quickly the Princess is growing up. You will know what’s right, and it will be enough – for everyone.
    I’m so glad that you are feeling better.
    I don’t think it was the meds cocktail thought – I think it’s just the increased amount of time spent with me lately 😉 xoxo

  4. Alison
    August 9, 2013 | 1:10 am

    Your space is yours to do with it as you please.
    We want to share your happy too!
    Write whenever you want, we understand.
    Go, have fun!

  5. Jenny
    August 9, 2013 | 12:30 pm

    So glad to hear that you are happy. I love your writing and your words. Thinking of you. xoxo

  6. Andrea B (@goodgirlgonered)
    August 14, 2013 | 12:00 am

    Happy is a part of life, my friend, and we want to hear and see it ALL. If you determine that it’s time to move on, somewhere else (you’d better still plan on writing, though) we’re supporting you and following you. And if you stay here and share the good, the light and the love? We’re here to cheer that news and smile with you! xo (Even me, who feels like I never get to blogs these days!)

  7. Lady Estrogen
    August 14, 2013 | 11:29 am

    Yes, what Alison said 🙂

    Always here for you, no matter what you decide. Only a text away! xxo

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