I’ve been going back and forth on this baby thing daily.
Do I want another one or should I just be happy with what we have?
Our family of 3.
But 4 is a round number and fits nicely in that spot.
I’m going bonkers with this.
So, because I am crazy and driving myself further into the depths of it, I took myself out to Brian’s garage and sat in the blue chair and we had our evening chat; me playing candy crush and him whittling a piece of wood.
I’m not making that up.
I told him all of the reasons that a baby was a bad idea, because at the time that was all I could think of.
Diapers, cleaning out the spare room, finances, mental health, sorting through clothes we’ve put away, and pregnancy woes.
I put my hand over my forehead and sighed.
Then the biggest worry of all…
What if IT happens again?
What if we lose another one?
I told him it just wasn’t possible, there was no positive’s to this situation.
And that’s when my husband pulled out the big guns and reminded me of all of the positives I had forgotten in my furry.
The tiny baby that grows inside and brings such love, the giggles, the smiles, the smells, the bonding, the running across the lawn in bare feet because they can.
The 3am feedings that are so exhausting but looking back now we wouldn’t trade for a million dollars.
The stained floors and clothes, the wardrobe changes, the laundry that we would do one hundred times over.
The dances in the living room, the spins in the yard, the swings on the swing set.
The pure love we have for our daughter and the space we hold for another one.
Because we so do.
So, with open arms and open hearts we are fully saying yes to more.