The Fight is ON

Sitting side by side, four days away from our one year anniversary, we looked out at our daughter playing on her swing set and then back at each other.

The words sat on the tip of my tongue but were so hard to get out.

But he knows me so well.

“What’s wrong?”

I had spent the last four days in bed from what felt like a cold and was a cold but was also the pull of depression weighing me down and yanking me further and further into the dark.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit it.

“I’m sinking…” was all I could get out before the tears started to well.

I felt like a failure and was overwhelmed with the urge to run inside and go back under the covers where I felt safest.

He grabbed my hand and held tight, reassuring me, and then reminding me that this wasn’t the first battle I’d been through, nor had it just started. He took me back weeks to where I had been bed ridden, sad, negative, agitated, and depressed but unwilling to see the signs.

Until now.

He reminded me of my PCOS, another contributing factor to my depression that I had forgotten about in my obsessing over bipolar and how much I hated “working through it” all of the time, and helped me see that we were on the right road to getting that fixed.

A healthier me.

Had I kept all of my emotions in I would have continued to sink into the depths of sorrow that I was loathing in for days, worried that he would be upset with me.

When in fact he knew all along.

Communication is key in a marriage.

Something I had forgotten.

And now we’re on the road to getting me better… the fight is on again.

But for him, it never stopped.

 

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17 Responses to The Fight is ON
  1. Teresa
    September 12, 2013 | 10:07 am

    Very beautiful example of a great partnership! Keep swimming. You are blessed.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:23 pm

      thank you so much!!

  2. Nic
    September 12, 2013 | 10:24 am

    LOVELOVELOVE

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:23 pm

      and I love love love YOU

  3. Jenny
    September 12, 2013 | 10:55 am

    Huge hugs. Thinking of you. So glad you have such a supportive partner.

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:23 pm

      Thanks Jenny. I’m grateful to have all the support that I do.

  4. Robbie
    September 12, 2013 | 1:44 pm

    Very glad he’s there for you!

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:23 pm

      Thank you, Robbie. I’m pretty lucky

  5. Carrie Baughcum
    September 13, 2013 | 6:07 am

    Tears are welling in my eyes. Oh my dear friend he gets it. He gets you. He really really gets it. What wisdom and deep love he has for you to look at you and not be scared or worried but to be able to pull you in and tell you not the negative but the positive and even more then that the admiration he has and recognition of the strength you have to continuously improve and better yourself and fight even when it’s hard and even when it hurts. You’ve both got depressions number (its not taking you down) and its an amazing XOXXOXO

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:22 pm

      He really does get me and I’m so lucky to have him.
      I’m lucky to have friends like you, too. friends who stick by my side week in and week out, supporting me through my ups and downs.
      Thank you. xoxoxoxooxoxox

  6. Kir
    September 13, 2013 | 9:41 am

    just keep swimming, my beautiful friend.
    and hooray for husbands, partners, best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, who know us well enough to pull us through, to know the warning signs and the healing paths for us.

    Fighting with you. xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:21 pm

      Thank you, Kir!!
      I am so glad that I have so much support. I’m one lucky girl.

  7. Sarcasm Goddess
    September 13, 2013 | 12:31 pm

    This resonates with me so much right now. I have been battling for weeks now. Today is the first time the fog has lifted. So glad you have such a great support system and that he never stops fighting…wow. Love you, friend!

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:21 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear that you have been fighting this crap too! I’m glad that your fog is lifting. Know that I am always here to listen if you need someone.

  8. Kimberly
    September 13, 2013 | 12:42 pm

    He’s never going to let you sink.
    Making out with your ear? That’s a different thing.
    Monday you’re going to get shit straightened out. I know you will. xoxo

    • multitaskingmumma
      September 13, 2013 | 2:20 pm

      That’s the wonderful thing about these guys isn’t it? They just keep on fighting with us. xo

  9. Alison
    September 16, 2013 | 12:55 am

    He’s a keeper, your Brian.
    Holding you in my heart.

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