Both Where They Should Be

Sitting on the edge of the bed I brushed her hair back from her face and hummed softly. She closed her eyes and drifted into sleep after fighting it for what seemed like forever.

Instead of getting up and finishing my housework I sat still on her bed and held her hand.

I had just found out I was pregnant and couldn’t believe I would be adding a second to our home. I couldn’t picture the baby yet, couldn’t see a face or feel its weight but I loved it.

But something felt wrong.

The cramping had been going on for most if the evening and I was growing concerned.

So I sat in silence, holding on to my daughters hand, and prayed.

I begged for the baby to stay.

I promised to be a better mom.

I said I would fight to keep PPD away.

Just as long as I got the chance to be a mom again.

As long as I could give my child a sibling.

Maybe if I wished harder or prayed longer the cramping would stop and the feeling of worry would leave my head. Maybe if I stayed with my daughter and held her hand tighter I would find calm.

Desperate for the overwhelming feelings of doubt to leave my mind, and for sleep to come, I curled up beside my daughter and snuggled in close.

My child asleep beside me pressed firmly up against the child I had growing.

Both in the same room, with their mom, sleeping soundly.

Both where they should be.


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3 Responses to Both Where They Should Be
  1. Debi
    November 25, 2013 | 11:25 am

    My sweet friend, I know that feeling. The praying, the cuddling in close, the hoping above all else that everything would be okay; taking comfort in my child’s sweet hands. HUGS

    • multitaskingmumma
      November 25, 2013 | 11:53 am

      Thank you so much for this! xo

  2. Kimberly
    November 27, 2013 | 2:07 pm

    I don’t even know what to say. My heart hurts for you. I honestly can’t find words because I don’t know how this feels like..just lots of love xoxo

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