That Last Bit

I thought I was ready.

When I looked at your grown up almost four year old face staring at me begging me to take my turn on the boardgame.

I thought I was ready to send you out into the world, with your backpack full and lunch packed the night before, this September you’d be off to school.

But then you tilted your head and popped your thumb in your mouth and I saw my baby girl shine through the big girl-ness that has been taking over.

The sweet girl I couldn’t believe would turn one some day.


Would crawl, would walk, would talk.

My tiny baby who I thought would never hold a spoon right, stop wearing diapers, or sleeping in my bed.

I saw the little hand I held through difficult feedings, and heard the giggles from tickles and teddy bear stories.

I held my breath and held onto this moment because you’re growing so fast and I’m not ready to let you go.

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I want you to find your independence, reach out and become great, grow into an amazing woman… just not quite yet.

For now I want you to keep thinking I’m the smartest person in the world. The only person who can calm you, who can reach your juice, h0ld an incredible dance party, and draw the best butterfly.

I can’t keep you a baby forever and you’re excited to grow and learn. I’m trying to take a backseat and let you.

The time will come when you will leave on the bus and go to your first day of school.

I’ll be so proud of you.

And until that day I’ll soak in your last bit of baby-ness

And hold it in my heart forever.

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9 Responses to That Last Bit
  1. Galit Breen
    February 6, 2014 | 8:26 am

    Ohmyheart, yes. Little in our hearts — forever and ever.

    (And that baby pic! *swoon*)

    • multitaskingmumma
      February 6, 2014 | 3:34 pm

      I know! She takes my breath away! I can’t believe she was ever that small.

  2. Jessica
    February 6, 2014 | 3:59 pm

    Oh how beautifully written.

    • multitaskingmumma
      February 7, 2014 | 11:16 am

      Thank you so much!!! xo

  3. Farrah
    February 9, 2014 | 2:00 am

    I continue to be amazed at how quickly this 5 years (almost!) has gone by.

    Beautifully written! And yes, hold on to these moments 🙂 I do too.

    • multitaskingmumma
      February 11, 2014 | 10:27 am

      Thank you so much! Time flies and I can’t believe how fast.

  4. Jennifer
    February 11, 2014 | 3:56 pm

    Oh the growing up and the letting go… it is so hard.

    • multitaskingmumma
      February 12, 2014 | 10:37 am

      It really is hard, I had no idea.

  5. Kimberly
    February 12, 2014 | 7:28 pm

    Gah. Bitch. Crying.
    I was getting flack the other day for chunky asking me to “snuggle”. What? Hell yes. They’re not going to want to do that when they grow older and we turn into uncool people who dictates what they can’t pierce into their body parts.
    Snuggle away. Enjoy them.
    Beautiful xoxo

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