You Know You’re a Mom When

I used to wonder when I would feel like a mom.

Would it be when my child looked up at me with tear drop eyes?


Would it be when I heard her say I love you for the first time?

Maybe the first time I softly sang my child off to sleep.

Beotch please.

Being a mother is so much more than that, it’s real. It’s messes and sticky crap on the insides of your shoes and you don’t know how the hell it got there.

It’s too much toilet paper in the toilet and a plunger you are VERY familiar with.

What else is it?

Oh, I’ll tell you.

You know you’re a mom when…

1. You have to explain, at length, that your child’s friend does not actually drink blood and maybe they were just fibbing.


2. You have a discussion surrounding the proper term for nipples… not pimples.

3. The inside of your car looks like a bakery, a closet, and a filing cabinet.

4. When you open your purse you find children’s toys, gold fish crackers, one mitten, and baby wipes.

5. You don’t drink coffee hot anymore.

6. You’ve dreamed of taking a shower/pee/poop alone but it hasn’t happened in a long time.

7. Grocery shopping is a marathon and you are the gold medal winner.

8. You would pay just to sleep for a whole night uninterupted.


9. There’s so much laundry. What to do with all the laundry?

10. You’ve watched a children’s show by yourself because you forgot the kids had gone to bed and you kinda like the show.

What is motherhood’s marathon to you? Come on, share!

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6 Responses to You Know You’re a Mom When
  1. Carrie Baughcum
    February 14, 2014 | 4:08 pm

    So much. So very much truth to all of that! It is rediculous the things I say to my daughters (none of which I can remember right now because the brain….it’s never the same after kids) would leave people on the floor in stitches! The laundry thing…oh my and the toys, oh the toys! Every where! Everyday! Motherhood is a whole ton of crazy awesome crazy fun!!! …its exhausting too!

  2. Carrie Baughcum
    February 14, 2014 | 4:09 pm

    …also I can’t spell. Ridiculous…there fixed!

  3. Farrah
    February 15, 2014 | 2:35 am

    Ha- so much of this is true. I find that I am the keeper of little socks. In my purse, in my coat, in my jeans pockets. I can’t bring myself to toss the baby socks- so they just stay in the drawers too.

  4. Jessica
    February 15, 2014 | 10:35 am

    Lol!!!! Love this. You’ve hit every nail on the head w me. Oh wait here’s a new one – when you sit at a green light waiting for it to turn green.

  5. Tara
    February 16, 2014 | 8:35 pm

    Motherhood is hating hearing the word “mommy”. Mostly because you hear it rought 75409 times, before lunch. Motherhood is explaining that your butt crack/belly should be safely within your clothes, not hanging out for the whole world to see. And mostly, motherhood is being able to kiss/hug away any hurts.

  6. Melissa
    February 17, 2014 | 7:34 am

    These are all worth a giggle! I especially agree w/ the bathroom one! Something’s for me were – when you are afraid to open a sippy cup you found behind the couch, under the van seat, in the toy box because of what might be inside! Waking up with little girls in your bed when you thought you went to bed with your husband. Trying to explain to your 3 year old why she can’t point at people in the grocery store and say a little too loudly that they have a big butt. But I think my favorite is the bed time routine of hugs, seceret, kiss I have with my girls!

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