All of the Babies

So you’ve decided not to have anymore children. For whatever reason.

Maybe you have enough.

Maybe you’ve HAD enough.

Maybe you’re blessed and your heart is full and you are happy with the number you’re at, or you’re like me and you’re heart wants more, just one, please, but that’s not happening so you’re adjusting, slowly.

But the adjustment period is taking time.

And in the meantime, while your heart nestles in and your emotions rise and fall, you float on the wave of what if.

What if you did have one more?

Would it be so bad?

Would the chaos really drive you mad?

Would you pull all of your hair out and flip out your empty pockets in a fit of rage?

Or would that tiny piece of your heart that just won’t settle finally calm?

Could having another one, if you were able, make the desire to breastfeed strangers babies disappear?

Or is this something every mother feels, regardless of how many children they have.

Is the pull always there?

The innate need to procreate, to feel an infant against your skin, to hear a coo, and to smell the top of a baby’s head.

No?

Just me?

When does this feeling of needing more babies… all of the babies, go away?

Does it ever?

Tell me friends.

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16 Responses to All of the Babies
  1. trish
    March 25, 2014 | 11:40 am

    Nope hun its not u. I know we are done. Yet it breaks my heart with every little growth spurt Tia has…cuz I know its the last time we get to witness the amazing gift. I find myself loving every mkme t of my screaming baby…every late night and early morning. My eyes have reached a new level of tired. And I don’t care. But wait, we could have another…if I want to die. Its heartbreaking no matter when or how many. U have a beauty. We r so blessed to have the opportunity to call ourselves moms. And u, my dear, are not alone.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 26, 2014 | 8:23 am

      Thank you so much. Every little milestone she hits I think about it being the last. I should really focus on it being great and look at how wonderful she is and how independent she’s getting. I’m so glad to hear I’m not alone.

  2. Carrie Baughcum
    March 26, 2014 | 8:04 am

    I have wanted a third since we had our second but it just wasn’t going to happen. Let’s just say it wasn’t something the entire family wanted (long story, maybe some day I’ll tell it). For years it hurt. I’ve come to terms with it. My heart has healed and I have gone on with life and how things are. I have embraced being a mother of two and the good that has come into my life and career because I haven’t had a third. But it still hurts. It gets better…a lot better but it still hurts just a little less each day. XOXXOXOXO

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 26, 2014 | 8:23 am

      Thank you for this. I so need to hear how other women are dealing with the decisions they’ve made. I am struggling with my decision and your comment is helping.
      xoxoxoxo

  3. Sarah Cass
    March 26, 2014 | 10:06 am

    I had a complete emergency hysterectomy less than a year after my “I’m never having more/oops” baby. After two babies a year apart and the choas of what that last baby brought to my body, I was DONE. I had three kids, and an empty bank account and my poor body was just so exhausted. I was done. I am done…

    But even now…knowing my family is complete, knowing that I am getting too old and I’ve been done since before #3…I still have moments where I want more. I want to hold another miraculous infant. I think you’re right. It is an innate need, one that can’t always be denied…even when your heart is set.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:46 am

      I get that ache. When I see a newborn my heart jumps and wants to get back on the baby train. If I could I probably would in a second.

  4. Shell
    March 26, 2014 | 1:52 pm

    This is a hard spot to be in. I feel like I’ve finally made peace with being done. We are now moving into an all big-kid phase, with my youngest entering full day elementary school this coming fall. I feel like we are at a different point in our family life and I don’t want to go back to the baby stage. I do want to hold other people’s babies but I want to give them back.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:45 am

      I can relate to this. I am done the baby stage too, so do I want to go back to that? I also want to hold a baby and love a baby. It’s a toss up. I get what you’re saying!

  5. Tricia
    March 27, 2014 | 5:11 am

    We are also done and as my youngest is 17 months and we are not officially out of baby land yet, I have already begun to ache a bit for newborns and infant cuddles and nursing and all the rest. I imagine it fades once it is farther in the past. But I feel it too.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:44 am

      yes! maybe the farther in the past that the babyness gets the easier it gets?

  6. Kate @ Mommy Monologues
    March 27, 2014 | 8:40 am

    We aren’t done yet, but I often wonder what it will feel like when we make that decision. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to emotionally say I’m done because even with all the jokes of how difficult it is to have little kids, I really & truly love having little ones!

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:42 am

      I love the feeling of a baby in my belly and the kicks and butterlies. I also love to hold a newborn and smell their sweet smell. That’s not something I can easily give up. I am where you are… I wonder what it will feel like if I ever get to the point where I’m really done.

  7. Michelle
    March 27, 2014 | 9:44 am

    I will admit that I sometimes wish I had one more…but ultimately am glad I didn’t. Our youngest will graduate in two years and I’m really looking forward to this next phase of life. I had my boys 11 years apart, so I’ve had a kid in the house for 26 years now.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:41 am

      I think that’s a place I will get to.. looking forward to the next phase. As my daughter gets older I really do love to see how she developes and what milestones she hits. I need to embrace that.

  8. Farrah
    March 27, 2014 | 10:09 am

    It went away for me. 1, then twins were the cure. Hugs, mama.

    • multitaskingmumma
      March 27, 2014 | 10:39 am

      Thank you… I’m working on moving past this.. maybe twins would do it for me too? Just Kidding.

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