Putting Infertility to Rest

It had taken a long time to come to the decision that we had but Brian and I were finally comfortable and ready to move onto that next step.

I sat with the phone to my ear listening to it ring into the gynecologists office, my heard pounding harder with every ring,

I was actually doing it.

After all of the time spent calculating, charting, talking, medicating, going to appointments, and discussing with others in the same situation as me,I was ending it.

When the receptionist picked up the phone I announced who I was and that I had to cancel my next appointment.

“Why will you be cancelling?”

My heart lept into my throat.

I had said the words before but never to a doctor and certainly not to the fertility doctor’s office.

But I was sure.

“We’ve decided not to have anymore children.”

Exhale.

It felt right.

I had gotten to a place where I was comfortable with our decision, knew that it was what was right for our family, and could feel the tension rising from my shoulders with every passing day.

One.

She’s a busy bee with feirce determination, compassion, and empathy who keeps us on our toes, makes us laugh hysterically, and brightens our lives.

We are blessed.

And that’s all we could ever ask for.

I’m grateful for all of the support I received through this very VERY difficult time, the people in my life who encouraged me, and the things I learned that I could never have without this challenge.

It’s been worth it.

I will continue to advocate for infertility awareness and be an ear for those struggling because I get it.

I so get it.

And I will focus my attention on my one and only…

My love.

Closing the door does not mean heart break for me. It means release from something that was holding me back emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

And now?

It’s time to breathe.

 

Thank you for SharingTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Share on FacebookEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

Related Posts:

6 Responses to Putting Infertility to Rest
  1. trish
    May 23, 2014 | 8:02 pm

    Xoxo. Love ya kiddo

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 26, 2014 | 1:48 pm

      Love you too xoxoxo

  2. Carrie Baughcum
    May 25, 2014 | 7:47 am

    I simply can not even begin to understand the strength it took to say it’s time to stop. So hard to pull in and embrace what you have and say it is enough and then swallow the pain of the loss, that this is it, it’s done. I am happy that relief is what fill you now. They, we never get trained, or prepared for this part of a motherhood journey. XOXXOXOXOXO my sweet friend!!!

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 26, 2014 | 1:48 pm

      Thank you so much for your support!
      I hope you know how much I love you xo

  3. Ladyedotme
    May 25, 2014 | 8:33 am

    Come over for some hugs.
    And you can borrow Baby E when-ever-you-want.
    Seriously.
    XO

    • multitaskingmumma
      May 26, 2014 | 1:47 pm

      you’re so sweet.
      And I will take you up on that offer.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://www.multitaskingmumma.com/2014/05/23/infertility-rest/trackback/