It’s been a long time since I delivered a throat punch.
A round house kick to the adam’s apple.
A triple sow cow, back flip, cart wheel, give it my all to the larynx.
But then I had a chat with my friend Deborah from the Truth About Motherhood and we decided that it was time to bring it back.
Time to get some anger out.
Two weeks ago I was in a car accident.
Dudes, I’m ok.
But there are a few things I’d like to note, and get off my chest towards the man who hit me.
A few “punches” I’d like to throw.
1. You backed into me… this concludes the “at fault” portion of our investigation. At no time did I back into you, slam my car into yours, or magically spin around and make my car land on your car. You were at fault, automatically making you the one in charge of paying the damage either through your insurance company or otherwise. THAT, my friend, is how the process works.
2. Stepping away from my car when my husband appeared and claiming that the big giant dent in my car was actually there and you had no idea how it got there was sly. Sly as a fox. But my silver haired friend, you did hit me. The contents of my car that were spilled all over the place, my daughter pointing at you and calling you out, and the HUGE dent in my car were all tell tale signs that you were lying, and bad at it.
3. When we attempted to exchange information and you called my husband on, getting your son involved and scaring my family, that wasn’t manly, that was psychotic. Your driving away afterward was the icing on the cake and I’m grateful for it because it just added to our case.
4. I’m grateful that your son provided me with his business card prior to the argument because that’s what led the police and my insurance company tracking you down. I know, I know, you didn’t want to give your information and you even refused. Sneaky, sneaky, sir. But you eventually gave in which allowed us to have peace of mind.
I hope you and your perfect, untouched, pristine vehicle are happy with the results of the investigation. For your troubles I’m doling out two throat punches. One for every week I’ve waited for my vehicle to be fixed…
Hope they don’t affect your driving.