But Who Will She Play With?

I sat in the seat across from her and tirelessly tried to explain that I was happy with the number of children I had.

I felt as though I was defending myself and my choice.

“But you never know, right.”

No, I do.

I attempted to explain that my family was complete with one child and we would not be adding to it without disclosing my losses, the heartache, the grief, the numbers of days I spent in bed, the memories, or the pain.

“We are happy with our daughter and that’s enough for us.”

The comments kept coming, one after another, about how we needed to give her a sibling, we needed to consider her after we die, anything could happen.

It became harder and harder to continue the conversation.

“Who will she play with?”


She will play with friends, us, the cats, her dolls. She will rely on imagination, the outdoors, swing sets, the neighbours.


We are not keeping her from adventures, moments of happiness, excitement, or friendships.

She is encouraged to be herself, explore, have friends over, and be a five-year old.


And she does it without a sibling.

Just fine.

She goes to school, plays with her friends, soaks in the sunshine, rides her bike, and squeals with excitement.


In fact she is perfectly normal, without a sibling.

And I do know that she will not have a brother or sister, and that’s okay. That’s what works for our family, that’s how we roll.

So roll with us.




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3 Responses to But Who Will She Play With?
  1. Carrie Baughcum
    July 7, 2015 | 7:14 am

    It always baffles me how incredibly hurtful and insensitive people can be, even when it is not on purpose. I also don’t get what people don’t get. You asked. I answered. That is enough, it should be enough, it is enough and yet they go on and on. Do they really want to know the truth. Do they want to know the pain, the struggles, the conversations you and your husband have had over and over again? Because one answer should be enough and most of all your choice for your family is enough! XOXOXO

  2. Mom
    July 8, 2015 | 8:02 pm

    My heart goes out to you, and we love your family of three “to the moon and back”.

  3. Kimberly
    July 10, 2015 | 8:15 am

    There is nothing wrong with one and done.
    I don’t understand why people look at us and see that there is a void that needs to be filled or that we are being selfish.
    There’s nothing wrong with what we have or what you have.
    In fact look at what they have.
    Chaos — those fuckers are swimming in arguments and bills and nighttime routines and oh.my.god all the nopes…so they can suck it.
    I’m just kidding — trying to put it into perspective. What works for us works for us and what works for them works for them. We are all happy and we should just shut up and be happy that we are all happy.
    Your little is as adorable as all unicorns in creation. xoxo

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