The Asshole Escaped Again and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Deaf

I bet you can’t even imagine what I’m up to.

The thrilling life I’m living.

Waking up at 6am, showering, getting ready for work, downing a cup of coffee and singing in my loveliest voice for my child to wake up and join me.

She likes that.

Why do I even shower? I swear I have water in my ear.

It’s clogged.

I can’t hear.

I’m deaf now. Deaf in one ear. All because of hygiene. I knew I should have just dry shampooed my hair and had an extra cup of coffee. That’s why they invented perfume.


And I haven’t slept.


I’ve been searching my house. I’ve been tearing my already torn apart house (due to flood) apart some more.




The asshole escaped again.

At this point it’s anybody’s guess. I don’t think I even care.


I don’t.

Lets not pretend. It’s a hamster.

The only thing I really care about is if it’s chewing through something important. A wire? A cabinet? A really great shoe?

Find freedom Hamsty! Run for the highway forest and find little forest friends who will accept you and your smelly ass.




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One Response to The Asshole Escaped Again and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Deaf
  1. Jordan
    May 17, 2016 | 9:30 am

    I can always count on your posts for a laugh. I hope he is having tea with his forest friends right now:)

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