The Asshole Escaped Again and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Deaf

I bet you can’t even imagine what I’m up to.

The thrilling life I’m living.

Waking up at 6am, showering, getting ready for work, downing a cup of coffee and singing in my loveliest voice for my child to wake up and join me.

She likes that.

Why do I even shower? I swear I have water in my ear.

It’s clogged.

I can’t hear.

I’m deaf now. Deaf in one ear. All because of hygiene. I knew I should have just dry shampooed my hair and had an extra cup of coffee. That’s why they invented perfume.

ear

And I haven’t slept.

 

I’ve been searching my house. I’ve been tearing my already torn apart house (due to flood) apart some more.

Why?

hamsterontheloose

Yup.

The asshole escaped again.

At this point it’s anybody’s guess. I don’t think I even care.

*gasp.

I don’t.

Lets not pretend. It’s a hamster.

The only thing I really care about is if it’s chewing through something important. A wire? A cabinet? A really great shoe?

Find freedom Hamsty! Run for the highway forest and find little forest friends who will accept you and your smelly ass.


wantedhamster

 

 

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One Response to The Asshole Escaped Again and I’m Pretty Sure I’m Deaf
  1. Jordan
    May 17, 2016 | 9:30 am

    I can always count on your posts for a laugh. I hope he is having tea with his forest friends right now:)

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