Category Archives: Bipolar

Because When I Have a Bad Day We All Have a Bad Day

You’re agitated. You woke up angry. What’s going on? I’m fine. You’re not fine. You taking your meds properly? YES! why do you always ask me that? why can’t I just have a bad day? Because YOU don’t just have bad days. when you have a bad day we all have a bad day. ——————————…

The Words Will Find Me

I run my hands under my eyes and through my hair. There is a deep sigh that escapes my mouth and I let my head hit the table. I’m out of ideas. Every time I sit down to write there is nothing. A blank page staring back at me where words once flowed nicely from…

I am not my Mental Illness

With Bipolar, or any mental illness, comes a stigma that in order to be creative we have to be full of angst. We have to be manic or severely depressed in order to create our best work. I know because I feel it. I feel the pressure to deliver my best writing but look back…

Working on my Words

My plans are made. Waiting and ready to go out, I’m set. I have the clothes on I want to wear, I’ve prepped my friend and told her what time I would be meeting her, and I’m excited. But wait. A text from my husband. “I’m going to be late” Deep breath. This is when…

Dressing in Colour

“How was your day?” “Good, but everyone was so surprised to see me wearing white.” “That’s becauase all you wear is black… it’s depressing, you were always sad. Now you’re happy, bright, wearing colours, and talking.” He’s right. There’s been a shift. And it’s spilling over into something so small as my clothing. Where I…

Falling off of the Mental Illness Wagon

Last week the world got a little brighter, things were a lot crisper, and my energy was incredible. I was the funniest person you had ever met. My creativity was flowing, I had endless things to talk about, and was feeling social. I had also missed four days of one particular med and didn’t tell…

The Author is You

I’m in a good place right now. I had a lot of support and encouragement when I was at my worst. But, I will never forget the pain of PPD and Bipolar, the confusion brought on by suicidal ideation, the release you feel when you make a plan, the sadness and loneliness of depression, or…

Here in the Silence

Quiet. So often in my past it meant I was running away from my anxiety, frustrations, anger, or a situation I couldn’t handle, and had given myself time away in quiet to re group. It meant I wasn’t coping well and needed to be left alone away from stimulations, loud noises, and conversation. I needed…

Skipping Through the Exit

The room was a dismal brown with 9 chairs lining the perimeter, and filling them were people like me, people needing help to fix their jumbled, confused, foggy minds. Minds filled with thoughts that got switched about, and skewed… a lot. I remembered the first time I had come to the building and walked through…