Category Archives: Humour

Is it January yet?

This week we’ve been getting reports of our little miss not listening in class or at her after school program. At first I was all NO SHE DI’INT. And then I had a look around at the stores, the snow, the decorations, the tree in our living room, the Elf on the shelf, and remembered…

When They Want to Decorate… Drink

As the boxes made their way into the house her squeals of excitement escalated. We had promised her that today we would decorate and she did not forget. Yes, decorate. In November. For Christmas. Falalalalalala. Little hands pawed all through the packages that I had so neatly packed away the year before and I could…

Hiding from the Cheetah’s

Her hands cup my face as we rock back and forth in the brown chair that sits comfortably in the corner of the living room. We snuggle closely every afternoon talking about her day while I try to pry information from her with questions, songs, guesses, and rhymes. She likes to be a close as…

Better than Christmas

The streets were glowing with the light¬†reflecting off of them as the rain drizzled down, threatening to end what had been deemed, in our house, the most exciting day of the year. She told me it was more exciting than Christmas. We’ll see when Christmas comes. I was woken that morning at 5:30 am with…

It’s not my Driving

My car and I had been together for almost three years, the tires were getting a little on the rough side and I knew the rims would be screaming for a new pair soon enough. But where would the money come from? As I drove back from dropping my daughter off at daycare on one…

These Pants are Supposed to be Tight

My friend Kim honoured me with a Liebster award. *takes bow, nods at crowd In order to accept I had to answer some questions… I know you all love learning more about me Yes you do. Yes, you do. 1. Are you that guy in your neighborhood who feeds the wildlife? If by wildlife you…

Things I’ve said this Week

Ohhh, the things I say in a week.. looking back I really shake my head. “Please stop kicking my vagina.” “No, we do not put blankets over the cat’s face.” “I’ve asked you before not to lick the garbage can.” “Oral hygiene is great but you do not need to brush your teeth four times…

Mom Super Powers Gone Wrong

When super powers backfire…. Her: Mommy, I can’t get this play doh out! Me: I can help Her: No you can’t. It’s too hard. Me: I can, I have super powers. Her: What kind. Me: Mom super powers. Her: Yah? Me: Yup, when you become a mom you get them. Her: What sort? Me: Like…

One Last Bite

Remember when I was getting healthy and was focused on what I was putting into my body? When I was planning meals, making a healthy lunch, not eating after 6, and walking every day? That went to hell. I feel bloated and nauseous and a little dizzy. Don’t stare. It’s just the half of chocolate…