Category Archives: Mom

I’m THAT Mom

Last week we were invited to a school BBQ, an opportunity to meet the teacher, see the classroom, and mingle with other parents. We received a reminder call the night before, the little voices on the other end reminding us to bring money. I was giddy. You want more money? Ok! Anything! Just let me…

Is THAT What I Sound Like?

I could hear her little girl imagination from the living room where I sat, taking five minutes to relax after cleaning what felt like the whole house. The sound of her faint whispers traveled down the hallway, her tiny voice changing as she created the characters, playing out the scene in front of her. I…

But Will You Have More?

Now that we’ve made the decision not to have anymore children discussions surrounding babies, children, and pregnancy has become harder for other people than it is for me. They still want me to reproduce. Even though I can’t without the aid of medication, tracking, praying, standing on my head, jumping up and down, running in…

Tips for Taking Care of your Skin

No one said that being a mom was ever easy. Hardly having the time to breathe, many moms neglect their skin without realizing the damage they’re doing. Barring the occasional visit to the beauty salon, what are some sure-fire ways to maintain healthy and radiant skin while not spending hours in front of a mirror?…

Ten Reason’s Mom’s are Ninja’s

I’ve realized a few things since being a mom. I’m actually a lot more than that…   1. We wear black a lot of the time and tell people it’s slimming 2. We “have eyes in the back of our head” and ears around corners. 3. We have reflexes like a cat and can prevent…

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You Know You’re a Mom When

I used to wonder when I would feel like a mom. Would it be when my child looked up at me with tear drop eyes? Would it be when I heard her say I love you for the first time? Maybe the first time I softly sang my child off to sleep. Beotch please. Being a mother is…

A Pig’s Ass

It’s been almost six years since I’ve smoked. And when I decided to quit I did it because I wanted to, not because anyone was forcing me to. Also because someone once told me that a woman with a cigarette sticking out of her mouth looked like a pig with a piece of straw hanging…

Becoming My Mother

I glanced over to where my arm wrapped around my daughter while we sat side by side in the chair. My mommy chair. The designated spot where I sit and always have. I looked down at where my hand rested along the side of her arm and did a double take, not sure who’s hand…

The House of Donald

I could see my daughter’s tiny body disappear up into the slide after I’d called her, for what felt like the 50th time, to come over to the fence where I was waiting. My requests were ignored and I swore in my head at the fast food chain for putting the fancy gates around the…