Tag Archive: Bipolar

I am not my Mental Illness

With Bipolar, or any mental illness, comes a stigma that in order to be creative we have to be full of angst. We have to be manic or severely depressed in order to create our best work. I know because I feel it. I feel the pressure to deliver my best writing but look back…

Dressing in Colour

“How was your day?” “Good, but everyone was so surprised to see me wearing white.” “That’s becauase all you wear is black… it’s depressing, you were always sad. Now you’re happy, bright, wearing colours, and talking.” He’s right. There’s been a shift. And it’s spilling over into something so small as my clothing. Where I…

Falling off of the Mental Illness Wagon

Last week the world got a little brighter, things were a lot crisper, and my energy was incredible. I was the funniest person you had ever met. My creativity was flowing, I had endless things to talk about, and was feeling social. I had also missed four days of one particular med and didn’t tell…

The Author is You

I’m in a good place right now. I had a lot of support and encouragement when I was at my worst. But, I will never forget the pain of PPD and Bipolar, the confusion brought on by suicidal ideation, the release you feel when you make a plan, the sadness and loneliness of depression, or…

Calling out the Crazy

The scarf fit around my neck snugly as I walked fast through the parking lot. I was certain I would be late but didn’t bother to leave any earlier than I normally would even though my appointment was half an hour earlier this time. I pulled the scarf up farther on my face and attempted to keep…

Here in the Silence

Quiet. So often in my past it meant I was running away from my anxiety, frustrations, anger, or a situation I couldn’t handle, and had given myself time away in quiet to re group. It meant I wasn’t coping well and needed to be left alone away from stimulations, loud noises, and conversation. I needed…

Skipping Through the Exit

The room was a dismal brown with 9 chairs lining the perimeter, and filling them were people like me, people needing help to fix their jumbled, confused, foggy minds. Minds filled with thoughts that got switched about, and skewed… a lot. I remembered the first time I had come to the building and walked through…

Crazy Might Still Live Here

I’m a a spot right now with my mental health where I can look back and go, “girl, you weren’t just on the crazy train, you were driving it. ” But it didn’t just occur to me one day that I needed help. There wasn’t a light switch that went off turning the old me…

Reaching Out is Hard

I’ve been there. That place where it seems too dark to crawl out of. Where you can’t find the light and there doesn’t seem to be an answer. I’ve been to the place where your bed is your best friend and the only sound you want to hear is silence. Because today isn’t a day…