Tag Archive: depression

Grateful for YOU

It’s quiet in the house, there’s only the sound of the fridge running in the back ground and the train in the distance. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, to express my thoughts, and to rest. I needed to. And I’m feeling grateful. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude towards my family and friends who…

Through the Kaleidoscope

She snuggles in close and throws her hand up into my hair, a habit she’s had since infancy. Her purple princess dress spreads out across my lap while the sounds of cartoons fill my ears. I sip my coffee and scratch endlessly at the hives that have appeared all over my body since the medication…

Here in the Dark

The familiar smell of the building hit me in the face as I walked through the doors. I made note of it, remembering the last time I’d been a patient. Over a year ago. I had been discharged because I was stable and we had found the right dosage. The right cocktail. I was finding…

Let the Shattered Pieces Fall

Just when I thought the feelings had dissipated and I might be on the mend a flash of a baby’s hand and a sweet foot came across my computer screen and I was swept away, back to December when my heart was torn from my chest and I was left disappointed, heartbroken, and lost for the second time….

Remember This…This is You

What’s that under your frown? A smile that used to light up a room. A laugh that used to be contagious. Tell me a story about the time you had the most fun. Don’t leave out the good stuff. I want to see your frown fade and the spark you have inside come alive. I…

Just Fake Smile

She wrapped her arms around me and held on longer than I would expect a co-worker to; her face a mixture of “I’m sorry,” and “I don’t know what to say so maybe I’ll hug you again.” Just as predicted her arms reached out for me again. I could feel the tears welling up in my…

It’s Not Time Yet

There’s a gray veil that covers the landscape and the skies are dark. That’s how it looks. Even though the sun is shining. I burrow deeper under the blanket and curl up tighter on the far end of the couch. I feel guilty for taking up this space, for not feeling like moving, for my continued sadness….

Feel the Sad

The air was cool and refreshing, sweeping away any sadness I had accumulated over the past week. It had been my idea to go to the pumpkin patch to look at the animals and the veggies, go on a wagon ride and pick some apples. On the outside my face said I was happy. And…

In My Back Pocket

I carry something in my back pocket as a “just in case.” I thought everyone else did too. I believed that every morning we all got up, washed our faces, brushed our hair, put on our make up, got dressed and tucked this away as our security. Because we might need it. One day. But…