Tag Archive: depression

Feel the Sad

The air was cool and refreshing, sweeping away any sadness I had accumulated over the past week. It had been my idea to go to the pumpkin patch to look at the animals and the veggies, go on a wagon ride and pick some apples. On the outside my face said I was happy. And…

In My Back Pocket

I carry something in my back pocket as a “just in case.” I thought everyone else did too. I believed that every morning we all got up, washed our faces, brushed our hair, put on our make up, got dressed and tucked this away as our security. Because we might need it. One day. But…

So… Thanks

I’m fighting depression right now which makes me super cranky and not very creative. When this happens I cruise the interwebs for blogs that make me laugh, like The Bloggess, and then wish I had a tiny stuffed mouse a home office filled with creepy dolls. She’s popular, yo. I sit and fight my anxiety,…

I Just Need a Minute

My head rests easily in my palms and I feel my hair fall in strands over my fingers. Closing my eyes I let the exhaustion take control for just a second. I just need a minute. To close out the office noises, the ringing telephone, and the to-do lists and find an inner quiet that…

Apparently She Likes Bat Shit Crazy

It’s been a rocky couple of weeks. I’ve covered it with toddler stories, husband antics, and hours of Pinning. Mentally I had no idea what was going on and, honestly, I don’t think my doctor did (does) either. There was a trip to the ER, an incredibly sexy rash (not the herps, relax), and new…

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There in the Quiet

The lights have gone out. Once my eyes adjust I will find a wall. I’m going to sit for awhile, there in the quiet, and let my anxiety calm. Sink into my sadness. I won’t fight right away. It’s comfortable there in the dark. But, when I’m ready I’ll slide my hand along the wall…

An Open Letter to a Bitch

I wrote this, along with several other posts, on Monday, June 18, while in what I would discover was the worst mania I have ever experienced. My anxiety was very high, I was irritable, hadn’t slept enough for days, was making irrational decisions, and had a hard time concentrating. I found writing was the only…

Are You Worried?

Does it scare you. When her face contorts and her eyes look lost? When her smile fades and she stares off past you, into a world you aren’t invited; one of dark shadows, ugly thoughts, and nightmares? Do you get angry? As she screams in your face. Because her anxiety has taken control and you’re…

A Wonderful Shift

There’s been a shift. Instead of deep despair, confusion, and the fear of never returning to myself; I feel waves of warmth and love, comfort and confidence, and a connection to my daughter I didn’t think was possible. Inside the darkness, I could see my girl in the distance. I could make out the outline…